Sold At The Cross-Roads

Why isn't it ever easy

2010-01-28T15:23:00.000-08:00

I think that I am cursed with being attracted to the most difficult to reach people. Inevitably the women I am most attracted to are also the most difficult to reach. Either they are married, or there is some other complication or drama that gets in the way.

Before I hear you Freudians yelping in the wings, I understand that as soon as I mentioned married women I opened myself up for the, "You are attracted to what you can't have" analysis. While there is no doubt that there is a desire in me to take what I can't have that is separate from my romantic interests. I sleep with other men's wives because they let me, and because I get a thrill from it, but not because I want to keep them as my wife. In most cases the results of that would be disastrous. The things that make me want to fuck a married woman are not at all the same things that make me want to fall in love with someone, let alone the things that would contribute to a stable, lasting relationship. So all you guys out there, you don't need to worry about your wife. I will enjoy her passion, sexuality and personality but I have no intention of having to deal with a sexual beast like her in the context of a relationship...that's your job!

Still, in my romantic life I seem lately to be running into numerous roadblocks in finding that 'perfect' someone. I already mentioned the married thing and I see a clear seperation between my swinging with couples and my dating life. Still, twice now, I have found myself attracted to someone who I only later found out was married or living with a long-term partner. In each case I looked on the left hand and there was no ring, but it turned out they just didn't wear one. One had political/empowerment reasons and the other wasn't actually married but has lived with her partner for over 10 years. I have heard people say that married/attached women appear more attractive because their guard is let down and they are more free to be themselves. I totally buy that. There is nothing I hate more than the fake front people put up during dating. It isn't a game, it should be about meeting cool people. If you can't let your guard down and be yourself how do you expect to find someone who will love you for who you are.

The other difficulty, and the source of much turmoil for me personally, is whether to pursue someone when I know there could be fallout from trying. I've already mentioned my infatuation with a certain professor I often work with. I don't take classes from her and as a graduate student my contact with her is entirely on a the level of a peer. Still, she is far from tenure and there is an ethical issue there since we aren't truely peers from the perspective of the school. I would love to get to know her personally but it would be a terrible feeling to be responsible for the career fallout that could ensue. There are ways around that, but it would mean both of us being willing to pursue a relationship and deal with the issues head on. How do you even begin to finesse that? I can totally see it if we had been thrust together somehow and developed a relationship, but to intentionally ask her on a date knowing the issues is very daring. I don't want to scare her away but I don't see a good way to deal with it in the traditional sense.

Finally, I have a major crush on a co-worker of my ex-wife. This, obviously, is fraught with dangers. She seems like a very nice person, incredibly sweet but confident. And she has a body to die for. Tall, thin, curves in all the right places, etc...The only problem is that she works within 10 feet of my ex-wife all day every day. My ex an I get along pretty well, but probably not well enough to withstand me brazenly dating her co-worker. This really is to bad since this girl has approached me twice with the obvious intention of flirting and making herself known to me. I would love to take the step of asking her out, but the nuclear scale drama it would create has kept me thinking with my head instead of my other body parts.

Has anyone else had this problem? I'd love to hear comments or other peoples stories of how they overcame these sorts of drama ridden situations.

Song of the Week

2010-01-06T23:16:00.000-08:00

It isn't often that a song really hits you. There are alot of catchy songs, alot of moving lyrics, and even more well written songs that just don't quite resonate. There are very few that really have that one two punch of great, meaningful lyrics and a perfect melody. Vienna Teng has managed to make such a song...about one of the most controversial issues of our time no less. I'd say that's quite an achievement.

I ran across her song City Hall on Pandora and have been playing it ever since. I've also been humming it ever time my mouth isn't otherwise occupied. So many times songs about controversial issues turn on a parody or an ironic twist in order to keep the controversy from overtaking the song. Vienna Teng took it head on and yet did so from a human perspective that shows the beauty of marriage, whether it's gay or straight. She didn't get bogged down in the anger, guilt or rebellion of it, it's just a very sweet love song. It aught to be an anthem.

I like the performance of the first video but there is also this Sun Records session that is pretty good. This one is much more professional and appealing but I think she's overplaying it a bit, and the audio engineer should get a slap with a wet noodle for burying her voice in a nearly a cappella mix. Still, it's worth a listen. It's fun to watch. For some reason her voice seems so incongruous, like for some reason it doesn't fit her body. I'm not sure why, maybe because she's so slim and pretty, and her voice is so incredibly rich and full it almost feels like it wouldn't have room in there. She's a pretty amazing performer too. She makes it look so easy and fluid.

This song reminds me a lot of Maryland County Road by Erica Wheeler. The topic isn't similar at all but somehow the tune feels similar. I've put that video at the end if you read that far ;) Also, I've quite updating the sidebar music player for a bit. I don't have a good way to upload music and the moment, and www.myflashfetish.com stopped allowing YouTube audio without video because of a threat of a lawsuit from Google. I'll get it up to date as soon as possible.

Here are the Lyrics:

me and my baby on a february holiday
'cause we got the news
yeah, we got the news
500 miles and we're gonna make it all the way
we've got nothing to lose
we've got nothing to lose

it's been 10 years waiting
but it's better late than the never
we've been told before
we can't wait one minute more

oh, me and my baby driving down
to a hilly seaside town in the rainfall
oh, me and my baby stand in line
you've never seen a sight so fine
as the love that's gonna shine
at city hall

me and my baby've been through
a lot of good and bad
learned to kiss the sky
made our momma's cry
I've seen a lot of friends
after giving it all they had
lay down and die
lay down and die

10 years into it
here's our window
at the vegas drive-thru chapel
it ain't too much
for 'em all to handle

oh, me and my baby driving down
to a hilly seaside town in the rainfall
oh, me and my baby stand in line
you've never seen a sight so fine
as the love that's gonna shine
at city hall

outside, they're handing out
donuts and pizza pies
for the folks in pairs in the folding chairs
my baby's lookin' so damned pretty
with those anxious eyes
rain-speckled hair
and my ring to wear

10 years waiting for this moment of fate
when we say the words and sign our names
if they take it away again someday
this beautiful thing won't change

oh, me and my baby driving down
to a hilly seaside town in the rainfall
oh, me and my baby stand in line
you've never seen a sight so fine
as the love that's gonna shine

oh, me and my baby driving down
to a hilly seaside town in the rainfall
oh, me and my baby stand in line
you've never seen a sight so fine
as the love that's gonna shine
at city hall

Type your summary here.

Type the rest of your post here.

Song of the Week..or so

2009-12-20T23:19:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since I've posted a song of the week. In honor of this sexual draught I've come up with the perfect song. It is, Are We Ever Gonna Have Sex Again, by Amy Rigby. The video is a cover by the incomparable Sara Hickman. I swear she has got to be a swinger, she has that glint in her eye. But who knows...

It's the perfect way to acknowledge that I've been neglectful of providing you, my readers, with sexual satisfaction. I am the embodiment of the too busy husband or wife. Leaving sex until tomorrow because something else is keeping us busy. Of course the reality is that yes, I've been way to busy to blog this semester, but I haven't been completely sexless. And for some reason finals week brings out the sexual fiend in myself and seemingly everyone else in this college town. So, the last few weeks have been filled with sex stories.

Here is to keeping up a bit better on the blog. We'll see how it works out. If you are out there and you want more, give me a shout. Believing that I'm not speaking to the empty ether is sometimes helpful in getting me motivated to write.

Here are the lyrics:

Are We Ever Gonna Have Sex Again? (Amy Rigby/Sherry Rich)
from "Til The Wheels Fall Off"

Life’s become a great big list
Of things to do and buy and fix
At night we pass out before ten
Are we ever gonna have sex again?

I looked for your id today
Seemed that id had gone away
Ain’t been used since who knows when
Are we ever gonna have sex again?

We used to be triple x rated
Look at us now, so domesticated

What happened to babe and stud?
Too much KFC and Bud
I shout it out into the wind
Are we ever gonna have sex again?

Come here baby, scratch my itch
Or I’ll show you one mean ass bitch
I’m so tired of acting Zen
Are we ever gonna have sex again?

Screw making love
It’s way too ambitious
Let’s get down on the rug
After you finish the dishes

Not now hon, the eggs are frying
But you get extra points for trying
Maybe I can squeeze you in
Between the PTA and CNN
Are we ever gonna have sex again?

Here's the teaser. If you got down this far you deserve it ;)

Funny How That Works...

2009-12-20T21:54:00.000-08:00

It's funny what looks the same and what changes over time. Just the other day I got into a conversation on everyones favorite social media site with an old classmate from high school, we'll call her Nice Girl. She was recalling some act of violence between her and the prima donna of our tiny rural school, and it elicited reactions from several of us who remembered high school as a succession of uncomfortable or traumatic experiences. Funnily enough we are all well adjusted, social and successful folks...while just a link away I can watch the ridiculously childish, and often sad, ridiculously rural and small minded, mess that is the life of several of those folks from the prima donna clique.

It's funny how that works. You see, she was recalling being threatened with a broken nose by the most popular girl in the school, we'll call her Prima Donna. All for wearing the letter pin of the most popular, and most flirtatious, boy. We'll call him Flirt. The thing was that this friend of mine was caught in the middle. She was smart, witty, well read...and absolutely oblivious to how insanely gorgeous she was. It was no accident that Flirt wanted to give her his pin, who wouldn't...but she was too nice a girl to play in the big leagues with the 'popular' girls. You might as well become a gladiatrix.

I didn't know Nice Girl well at the time, and thought of her as just a very quiet girl...some one you saw in the hallway but who never opened their mouth. She was a good singer in the choir, but beyond that interaction I never really fell into the same circle of friends. Some time after the threats of non-consensual rhinoplasty I went to a choir contest with Prima Donna, who I also almost never interacted with, being a bit below her sphere of orbit. So, it shocked me when I ended up waiting alongside her for the cafeteria to open, and she blurted out a story about how Flirt had cajoled her out of her virginity and she felt terrible about it, felt violated and very alone. You see, the entire shenanigan had been broadcast across our tiny rural school with the help of chatty friends, a nasty breakup, and the fact that Flirt had been doing the same thing to several girls at once.

Now, I was 17, a virgin, and a bit turned off by the whole social scene, so I didn't really know how to react. Here was someone who I thought of as beautiful, but very much like a Barbie, who was opening up to me over something very personal. She suddenly seemed very human. I didn't really know what to do and tried to show some support without getting gushy. Being a teenager I think it came out seeming more like I was oblivious and didn't care. She really just needed a hug and a real friend (and a father who gave a shit about something other than winning at all cost, but that's another story). Knowing what I know now I wish I'd given her the hug and crying shoulder she needed, it might have helped her deal with her future a bit better.

Fast forward to a few years after high school when I meet Nice Girl at a college party when I'm back in town for the summer. Wow! Turns out that she is really well spoken, very nice and I immediately have a huge crush on her. The problem is that she is waxing erudite about how the principle of the high school was giving her 'special' treatment during her last year or so in school. It was a revelation to me, one that turned my stomach, that maybe that was the reason I'd never learned what a cool lady she was. So, I offered what emotional support I could and hoped against hope that she would work her way past it. It was over ten years before I would reconnect with her via the internet.

As for my experience in high school, I pretty much disliked the majority of it. I made a point to hang out with everyone, which meant that I fit in with no one. I was consistently good at school and thus poor at being cool. Although I was good at sports I wasn't quite good enough to rise above a social scene where coaches groomed their players starting in grade school and who your parents knew mattered to your playing time and the amount of attention you got from coaches to help you improve. I was bullied a good deal, but realized early on that I would set my sites on college and make sure to get out of there.

So, reading comments from several classmates about their high school experiences I am realizing that the only people who are sanguine about any of it are those of us who had a terrible time in school. Meanwhile, the lives of a good portion of the popular folks are either limited to the same rural town where they can maintain their popularity, or they are in shambles due to the same reasons that drove them to act the way they did in high school. Still, the unavoidable conclusion is that the majority of people have a rough time in high school, whether they are popular or not. It's like a very circular Lord of The Flies. It is funny though, how those of us who were able to understand how ridiculous the situation was are well adjusted, successful and interesting people.

Funny how perspectives change. Although, unfortunately, I'm not living in the Palacio de Oriente...but we can't all become the King of Spain now can we.

Wow! Incredible porno orgasms!

2009-10-25T20:02:00.000-07:00

This scene is really amazing for a couple of reasons. First, I absolutely love how the two of them interact. I don't know the name of the guy but I've seen him a couple of times and he always has an incredible and seemingly close rapport with the pornstar he's with. The whispers and looking in each others eyes is incredibly hot. Also, she is so so incredibly open in the beginning about herself as well as seemingly happy and intelligent sounding that it's hard not to be attracted to her. Finally, her orgasms are so intense and obviously real (Check out 29:00 to see an incredible orgasm). I love it!

http://www.tube8.com/share/brunette-gets-a-nice-fuck/182631/

Her name is Tori Black. I don't know who the guy is or what movie it's from.

Jiggle Jugs

2009-07-28T00:09:00.000-07:00

I don't really think I need to say anything about this one...I guess it's better than a singing bass...maybe...

Song of the Week

2009-07-19T12:48:00.001-07:00

I'm sorry. I've be highly negligent in my posting of new music and tittilating stories for you all, loyal readers. And not that I've permanently turned you off with my last post I guess I'd better make up for it somehow. How about with some incredible new music?

Music sounds great to me...although after the concert I went to last night everything is now in left channel mono. I stood too close to the speakers on my right side and that ear has been ringing since the music stopped. Still, if you get a chance to see Josh Ritter in concert a bit of tinnitus is worth it. He is an incredible songwriter and performer and playing in his hometown makes it all the more special.

But that isn't who I'm here to talk about today. I'm here to tell you about a Jamie T, an amazing and frenetic songwriter from South London. Anyone who can take the stage solo with nothing but a bass guitar and keep a crowd in rapt attention is worth a listen. And unravelling his amazing and convoluted English slang is worth a listen as well.

Here are two songs from his debut CD Panic Prevention. The first is a great song called, "If you go the money", which isn't so much about sex as it is about all the clueless jerks out there who manage to attract gorgeous girlfriends who would probably be much happier with someone a bit more interesting...someone like me, or Jamie T! I love the video.

If you've got the money
I think it would be funny oh ohoh
To take your girl,
spend a bit of your cash for me!

'Cause then she might be happy
No longer lonely oh oh oh
And I could take her out the next day
for pretty much free!

if you got the money

And finally the second song..."Sheila" wich is really pretty sad but such a great piece of songwriting. And who can resist a video of macaques destroying a house??

Sheila goes out with her mate stella,
it gets poured all over her fella,
cos shes says, man he aint no better
than the next man kicking up fuss

drunk, she stumbles down by a river
screams calling london,
none of us heard her coming,
i guess the carpet weren't rolled out

Her lingo went from the cockney to the gringo
any time she sing a song, the other girls sing along
and tell all the fellas that that lady is single
a fickle way to tickle on my young mans ting
Shes up for doing what she like any day more like the night
she ground drunk the soles that she stole/brought/borrowed
She didnt like fights, but at the same time understood that
fellas will be fellas till the end of time

(good heavens you boys, blue-blooded murder of the english tongue)

Jack had a gang that he called the many grams,
he was known as smack jack the cracker man
in life he was dealt some shit hands
but the boys got the back now
and jay went the same way as mickey and dan
a pen to mans upon the arrow wans
and man lisa had a baby with sam,
and now jack on his own man,

well done jack, glug down that cider,
your right shes a slut and you never fucking liked her
not like what he stopped so shocked
cos it turns out the last dance killed the pied piper

Horrible...but creative

2009-07-19T12:45:00.001-07:00

I think this is a fake, but the idea makes me cringe nonetheless.

Something to think about

2009-06-30T13:35:00.000-07:00

I've heard it said that there is proof of god in the fact that we often yell out names from the trinity when we bang our thumb...or reach the height of orgasm. The idea is that god must exist if we yell out his name in moments of mindless pain or pleasure. Hmmm...I'm not convinced. It isn't that I haven't yelled some blasphemous thing or other when I cum, but over time I've seen a more prevelant pattern.

I'd say the most prevalent word to come out of mine or my partners mouth is 'fuck', which in this line of reasoning would indicate that sex is God. Not a bad starting premise if I do say so myself. The second most common phrase to be uttered by my parters is my name...I won't even go there, I'm about to be struck by lighting already after the first sentence in this paragraph.

Song of the Week

2009-06-26T13:03:00.000-07:00

I know the web is all abuzz and apparently Twitter was sending out Fail Whales like candy yesterday over him...but I can't keep myself from eulogizing one of the best musical minds of my generation. There is a reason everyone is talking about Micheal Jackson's death, he was genuinely one of the most talented artists of the last 50 years and easily one the most influential of all time. And like most pop singers he belongs in my song of the week list because pop music is almost always about sex either in the lyrics or the choreography.

It's funny, Jackson was never an artist that I listened to in any depth. I remember the Thriller video, and pretty much every hit after that until Black or White. I remember the glove, the ringlet, and the leather jacket from Beat It, but I never got the point. Watching his videos now, with a but of musical perspective, he was consumate in his performance, timing and the way be blended genres. Listen to The Way You Make Me Feel. This is a soul song but it doesn't sound like it, it's mood is totally different. He was able to transform the pop genre in ways that noone would have expected. And watch the video...the intro is incredibly hot, his timing and choreography convey everything you need to know without music or lyrics for the entire intro.

Michael Jackson - The Way You Make Me Feel
by Brownsugar18

And who can talk about Micheal Jackson and his sex appeal without mentioning Don't Stop Til You Get Enough. Great song, and it showcases the young Micheal, who was a surprisingly hansom young man if you only knew him from the late 80's onward.

MICHAEL JACKSON - DON'T STOP TIL YOU GET ENOUGH
by hushhush112

And then there is Billie Jean, one of his most catchy songs and the 80's lament on poor family planning...a song that was fairly controversial considering how obtuse the lyrics really are.

Michael Jackson - Billie Jean
by hushhush112

And as a testament to just how powerful a creative force he was, name me someone who can attract this kind of starpower these days, even for a tribute to another star? Certainly not Britney Spears. This is pretty much a cameo of every star from the 80's, wow!

Michael Jackson - Liberian Girl @ Yahoo! Video

And who could forget the moon walk...he was a master!

Time to stock up

2009-06-25T11:24:00.000-07:00

Hmmm...this sucks. My favorite condom has been discontinued.

Here's the skinny. I really dislike condoms...but they are one of those necessities that you just don't go without. Being an Eagle Scout (albeit one that would be excommunicated if my religious and sexual views had been what they are now when it was awarded) I still practice the motto, "Be Prepared" and the slogan, "Do a good turn daily". I always carry a pocket knife and something to make a fire when I'm out and about in the woods...and I almost always have a condom with me or in my car if there is a possibility of getting lucky. Doing a good turn means I don't allow the transmission of malicious cooties to me or my partners and they have a smile on their face afterwards. I make sure the condoms I carry make sex as enjoyable and safe as possible.

My favorite condom of all time is the Durex Avanti Superthin. They don't smell or taste like anything (I always feel bad asking for oral after I've had a latex condom on earlier in the night), they transmit heat much better than latex (HUGE deal for me!), they work well according to studies, they are way thinner than latex, and there is no worry that I might meet a latex sensitive partner and have to run around looking for condoms that work The only downside is that they are a bit tight on me, but not so tight that they are uncomfortable or too difficult to put on. And now Durex has discontinued them!!!!! What the fuck!!!

Actually, they haven't discontinued them, they have resurrected them in a different form, which could be very confusing. They are now selling them as the Durex Avanti Bare, which is a completely different condom. They have switched the material to polyisoprene which, admittedly, is much more natural feeling. It stretches which I bet is the major reason for the switch (they can fit more people and thus make more money). Unfortunately I used them last week and thought they sucked. They are exactly like the Lifestyles SKYN condom which I don't like at all. It was worse than latex, I felt like my cock had been put inside an isolation chamber...no feeling whatsoever.

Apparently part of the problem was related to research. Despite the fact that all the studies say it is just as effective and strong as latex they have never been able to label it without a disclaimer, which I assume drives people away to some extent. Somehow Trojan has done it with the Supra which is identical material but small enough in girth to be painful for me to put on and the material is a bit thicker.

In the end I'm stuck with having to look around for a new favorite condom. Any ideas??? Until then maybe I'll stock up online on the remaining Avanti's and hope that a suitable replacement comes along soon. I'd hate to fail at my mission of doing a good turn daily because my condom keeps the experience from being the best it can be.

Song of the Week

2009-06-18T00:46:00.000-07:00

Here's your latest song of the week.

I'm not being too adventurous with this one. I've already posted some Atmosphere stuff, and it's easy pickin's. Just about any song of their is about sex. They aren't gangsters so out of the usual Sex, Money and Murder topics of rap songs they are down to two. Still, I love Slugs rhymes and delivery, he's awesome.

This one brought back memories of Minnesota. Slug goes through a litany of girls and sexual predilictions of different Twin Cities neighborhoods. He hits the stereotypes right on the money. Nowadays the died hair and tattoo freaks have mostly been relegated to Lynn-Lake, but back when this song came out Uptown would have still been a haven for more than hipster metrosexuals. I don't agree with the premise or the allusions to physical abuse, that makes me angry, but the rest of the song is worth it for the imaginative rhymes. Who else can start a rap by talking about wiping his dick on your couch cover and make it interesting???

The song is "The Stick Up" with Eyedea from Atmosphere's album Headshots: se7en.

Here are some lyrics:

...Yo I got daddys' little girls, ones that always stay true
got an uptown girl, she dyes her pubic hair blue
and I got a bitch that lives in Kenwood, rich townhouse flavor
she travels on business, I'm gettin down with her neighbors
I got a freak, drives a bus, shows me love with the free rides
a hundred hos in Saint Paul, but only one from eastside
Got a Bloomington bitch with a pool in her appartment
rugburns all over from fuckin her on the carpet...

...Got stripper bitches, body jewels and fake titties
got a ho that lives in Fargo for when I escape the city...

...The Richfield bitches freak the lip gloss and hairspray
And downtown women they like to fuck on the staircase
northside chicks, southside chicks, suburban chicks
Love to open married women up to the pervertedness!...

Anyone from Minneapolis/St. Paul has to admit that he nails the neighborhood stereotypes! The stuff about Bloomington makes me laugh. I once met a girl in Bloomington to have sex. Like every other new apartment complex built there to support the Mall of America population there was a pool in the complex and the floor was covered in unassuming and bland beige carpet (He leaves out that the rest of the neighborhood is a run down shit-hole, but that's artistic license). Unfortunately the date kinda sucked and I didn't take the time to experiment with rug burns. And yes, Richfield is all about the lipgloss and hairspray. And I have to laugh that he even includes Fargo...everyone "goes up north" for vacation, so including that is a stroke of genius. I would go so far as to say that this is the best representation of the Twin Cities in any of Slugs songs, and he makes it a point to represent at all times.

If you like this one take a gander at this video. Both Slug and Eyedea can freestyle, wow!

And here's another one with Brother Ali and Slug. It's hard to imagine rap at the Fitzgerald Theatre, but who knows. The freestyle here is awesome. I saw Brother ALi live at 7th Street Entry once. I thought he sucked...I guess it was an off night.

Some people suck

2009-06-17T23:31:00.000-07:00

You already know about the couple I'm going to talk about today...they have managed to grab more than their fair share of my blog time. I've waxed poetic about her body, I've complained obliquely about his predilictions, and I've openly wondered about he ethics of breaking apart a relationship in which I am not a part. Well...I've officially taken sides.

He is a fucking jackass and she deserves much better. She needs to get away as soon as humanly possible and I plan to do anything I can to make that a reality.

How's them apples?

Here's the long and the short of it. I haven't played with them for a long time. He started to seem like he wasn't telling the truth and the last time I was with them she just didn't seem happy. I am completely taken by her body and her smile. The last time we played I spent all the down time letting my hands wander over her, and she snuggled into me like a puppy in from the cold. It has been a long time since anyone other than my kids have snuggled into me in such a needy way. They never once touched each other affectionately that I remember, it was strictly sex.

She apologized after she started feeling poorly and we had to call off the fun. I told her that it wasn't a problem for me, that my intent was to make her happy, and I'd rather see her happy than have my own orgasm. She beamed (which made my day, she has an incredibly beautiful smile). I thanked her for having me over and gave her a hug before leaving. He didn't say a word, just walked out the door. In light of what I know now it all makes sense.

She and I connected on a social networking site, and have been talking since. It's been really hard to get ahold of her but she seems genuinely interested in talking. I was saving my revelations until we met in person, but finally they were bugging me and I laid it out in an email that I thought her ex-boyfriend was doing things she wouldn't be happy about, and told her that he had given me pics of her with me and others...only telling me later that, "She'd be so pissed if she knew I did that". Turns out my gut was on the right track.

She messaged me back saying she knew he was up to no good, that she wanted to see the pics he had before I deleted them, and that she was counting the days until she moved. She said at this point she was tired of hearing about all the ways he's tried to hurt her, that she didn't want to hear the rest of what I suspected. She's headed back to school and to a different town in large part to get away from him. She was pissed, and rightly so considering the stories she had to tell.

Apparently around the time we last played he started getting high again and really went down hill. Up until then he had been doing pretty well from everything I can figure out, but he never was very honest about his intentions. He apparently is a pretty good con, and also sounds emotionally abusive (I haven't heard or seen anything that would indicate physical abuse). She revealed that despite having moved out he still shows up at her place at all hours and lets himself in (He has stolen several keys and door openers and has even let himself in through the window). She is too afraid to kick him out, and even so afraid to make him angry she doesn't want to meet me to talk for fear he will be in her apartment and asking why she is late home from work.

Further, he is spying on her communications. We've been talking for a couple months off and on. It's mostly been chit-chat and nothing serious. The day after I emailed her my concerns I get a text from him saying, "What have you been talking with ____ about?". Hmmm? That raised lots of red flags so I emailed her. She was pissed. He apparently had a password or something and was reading emails. That is scary shit, only fucked up scary people do shit like that.

This really pisses me off. She is an incredibly intelligent and wonderful girl who shouldn't have to put up with his shit. On the one hand I'm very proud of her for getting to this point. She moves in less than two weeks and has successfully kicked him out of the house (sortof), gotten herself into school, and arranged a getaway plan despite him obviously being a very controlling asshole. Many women I know would not have had the gumption to do what she is doing. Still, she isn't there yet and I worry about her.

It is difficult to be in this situation. I've made it clear to her that I am here to help in any way I can, that if she ever has a problem or needs anything at all she can contact me day or night. Still, things are bad enough that she can't bring herself to meet me for fear of repercussions. That means I really can't help in any material way. Instead I end up sending texts to make her smile or just to say "hi, how are you doing today", and often not hearing back for days because she isn't able to text me due to all his controlling BS. I also worry that he'll steal her cell phone. My texts will only make the situation worse if he reads them. That is a fear that isn't completely irrational given the kind of person I've learned that he is and his propensity to 'visit' her at odd hours. It is also a fear that no one should have to deal with, it's twisted and seriously fucked up.

I think she needs a restraining order and to put a call in to his probation officer...but I can't be the one to do that. What I really want is to stop by his place and allow him to leave pleasantly, in a horizontal position, in the company of several of the areas finest volunteer medical staff. Unfortunately that isn't an option either, despite how much I think he might deserve it. She said she just wants to get through this two weeks without rocking the boat, and I can understand where she is coming from, but it just isn't right. That response also smacks of the self doubt and fear of someone who has been abused. Noone who has just broken off a normal, loving and non-abusive relationship, would ever think it was ok for an ex-boyfriend to just, "show up" inside your house after stealing your keys or forcing your window.

Believe me, anyone out there who has been in a similar situation and has tips for dealing with it let me know. I'm not well practiced in the art of dealing with complete and utter fuck-ups, druggies, and con-artists. I'm also horribly under-educated in how to intervene in abusive situations as a complete outsider.

Anyway...the moral of the story is that you should always make sure that you know for sure that the couples you play with are both on board with what is going on. Yes, the kink that she wanted to be fucked by a stranger while wearing a blindfold is hot, extremely hot. Still, if I had to do it over again I would definitely do it differently. He's a smart con, using just that one kink he was able to keep us both in the dark about quite a few things. Luckily for me his graft slipped up when she took the blindfold off and I got to know her a bit. The alarm bells started going off soon after that because his double talk immediately started to ring false.

So...be careful out there, some people really do suck...

Sugasm #167

2009-06-17T23:28:00.000-07:00

Hey all. Here is this weeks Sugasm. I'm in there...way down toward the bottom, with my 'Full Circle' post. Have fun reading the awesome stories this week.

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #168? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks

Every Time You Orgasm, An Angel Gets Its Wings

“There is nothing that screams “fuck you” to the pain and the hurt in the world than screaming “fuck me” to the person in your bed.”

HNT: Spanked

“I wasn’t sure how I felt about him. But tonight, I was sure.”

A Thousand Kisses

“This wasn’t enough. I knew that I had to try something else.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself

Congratulations, you’re invited!

Sugasm Editor

Sex Work And Honesty: Religion

Editor’s Choice

Food, fun and commitment

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm

(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above within a week. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio

Chloe

HNT

Love HNT Part II

So Many Stripes

Valentina Vaughn

Video Q&A #1

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships

Dementor

Fat Ass Betty

Full Circle

Going where no one has gone before

Sex Humor

Adventures in Craigslist (and a belated HNT)

Erotic Writing & Experiences

Ass-tute

Conversations about Crossdressing (Early Morning Version)

A Feast of Cock

Gender Fuck

Her Favorite Positions - The Conclusion

I Can’t Get No…Contraception

Lessons from an Orgy

Lilly’s Turn - Part 2: Wherein One Good Turn Deserves Another

Mirrors

Must be the weather…

New Perspective

Party.

Picture of Propriety

Playing with Dolls

Please don’t book me ever again

The Poet Surrenders

Rebirth In An Orgy

The Synestheatre

Wet dream at the airport-part1

A Wicked Birthday Bang

BDSM & Fetish

Bending over for some harsh cane stripes

Digging a hole, is that the way you treat me

Lick me

Preparing for Punishment: part one

Puppy’s first visit

A Salute to Masturbation May

SF Treat

Subs: How to NOT Apply

That Look

Thoughts about the play party and Femdom.

Under 40 ~ The New Kinky Bar

What Kind of Submissive Are You?

Sex Advice

How to be bisexual on the internet

How to Give a Tantric Breast Massage

Sometimes You Need A Break…

News, Reviews & Interviews

It’s Good to be the Intern

Kink Interview: Thomas’s Spanking Exploits

LELO Luna Beads: Because You Deserve Them

Product Review: Intimate Organics Energizing Fresh Orange & Wild Ginger Foot Foreplay Lotion

Top 5 Tuesday - Sun, Sand and Smut!

Song of the Week

2009-06-04T16:23:00.000-07:00

This week is a treat. I've been diligently digitizing my entire CD collection, one CD at a time, in the slot drive of my laptop for months now. Lucky for you I'm near the end of the process and I found a very nice little nugget of goodness in the dregs at the bottom of the box.

A friend of mine once gave me several CD's of bootleg bands from Austin. Among these gems from the only livable/liberal city in Texas was a bootleg of The Asylum Street Spankers playing at a tavern in Chicago. What a group. Not only are they incredibly talented, but they have a knack for thinking in the gutter. I love them! They are the perfect modern combination of blues, riverboat jazz, and slapstick. They make me smile

I've loaded up three songs from this album. The first is "If You Love Me (You'll Sleep on the Wet Spot", who's lyrics make me giggle hysterically:

Chorus:

If you love me, you’ll sleep on the wet spot.
You’d buy my tampons, with your food stamps.
You’d take out the garbage, clean out the cat box.
If you love me darlin, the wet spot is yours.

Isn't this just too true? I've never been on food stamps, but I do know that I've had a couple of playful "wrasslin'" matches over who gets the wet spot. Lucky for me they have always ended in making a matching wet spot on the other side of the bed, thus negating the argument.

The next is "The Scrotum Song", which is just bizarre...but manages to stay funny. The third is "Tight Like That", which is dirty in that old-time jazz/blues way that I love so much. It's dirty, but you have to have a dirty mind to realize it.

These guys are awesome in many other ways. Here's a video of "Stick Magnetic Ribbons on Your SUV" which points out perfectly the hypocrisy of having troops in Iraq, without making a mockery of the troops but poking fun at we apathetic/hypocritical folks on the home front. It reminds me alot of John Prine's song, "Your Flag Decal Won't Get You Into Heaven Anymore". Of course Mr. Prine gets the prize for coming up with the concept more than 35 years prior, but The Spankers get the prize for making it fun to watch and mixing in sex at the beginning too.

If you lIke the Spankers there is an extensive list of bootlegs on the Internet Archive. They are great live, so bootlegs are the best way to enjoy them on your stereo.

Thank you, whoever you are

2009-06-03T11:39:00.000-07:00

Hello,

This email is to notify you that in response to your all your hard work promoting
www.beautifulagony.com, someone has joined the site and we have credited this referral to your promoter account.

You now have a total of 1 referral/s credited to you.

When you have 2 referrals credited to you we shall email you a claim form, please
fill this out and return to us. After we have confirmed your referrals, we will
give you your free one month access to www.beautifulagony.com

Keep up the good work!

agony

www.beautifulagony.com

One down and one to go! Thanks to whoever joined Beautiful Agony from my link. I love that site, but don't have the financial means to join up. So...with your help hopefully one more person will join and I can check it out for a month for free. I love you guys.

Thanks for reading. I hope to post more frequently this summer.

Full Circle

2009-05-28T00:17:00.001-07:00

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

I just realized that life has come nearly full circle for me in a very odd way. In honor of that I'm posting a playlist with a couple songs that I was enjoying 6 years ago or so when this circle started. They are totally random but they evoke strong images of that time in my life. If you will pardon the tangled path of my prose I will also explain how this circle has been closed between now and then, and how my decision to explore my sexuality was one of the most fulfilling I've had.

The first is Mary Black singing Crusader off her eponymous first album. She just has an incredible voice and I love this song for some reason along with most of that CD. It reminds me vividly of walking down a tree-lined boulevard near the Missississippi river at the height of fall. Talking in carefree, post coital tones with a beautiful and strong-willed girl who's hair matched the turning maple leaves.

The second is Manu Chao's Bongo Bong. How can you not love this song, it is the epitome of infectious. It reminds me of summer nights spent playing darts with another mans wife at a neighborhood bar. It reminds me of the jump in your chest when the wife of the first couple you've ever met says, "I'm going to bed, is anyone going to follow me?", and her wicked grin is hidden by a wave of her hair as she spins on her heels and walks up the stairs.

Six years ago I had just bought a shiny new computer, top of the line, portable and not from Microsoft. The newfound freedom of a fast connection and lots of processing power kept me up at night fooling around. It also brought me around to a website that I had attempted years before as a timid virgin without much luck, Adult Friend Finder. I decided now was the time to go after all those fantasies that had clogged my head since nearly the same time I became aware of my sexuality. Before this I was pretty timid sexually and a bit shy in most aspects of life. That, obviously, has changed.

Misunderstanding the signup form, I put my name in the box for my handle and was henceforth known on AFF by my legal name. Figuring that honesty was the best policy I kept it up. I bought some black and white film for my point and shoot (I love B&W and it was cheap) and took some full body and face shots of myself naked as a jaybird and hard as a woodpecker. After getting them developed at Target (The cute girl behind the counter didn't bat an eye). I promptly slapped them on my profile, along with an honest and not too alarming call for females and especially couples to get in touch. I doubled my number of sexual partners in two weeks.

I had fun exploring. I met a flaming redheaded vixen who became a wonderful FWB and a longtime friend. She happened to live just down the street so the arrangement worked out perfectly. I met couples who's names I no longer remember, and couples who's names I never knew. I met girls who were hopelessly romantic, and girls who wanted it harder than I was willing to dish it out.

I met mostly people I'd never seen before, but happened to meet a few distant friends from my normal life as well. Along the way I taught a married woman how to have anal sex (along with earth shattering orgasms), shared my first DP experience with her husband, got my first seedy back-alley blowjob after sharing an ocean of Guinness, fucked a very cute school teacher (Although thankfully not my own) in front of her husband, and jumped the hurdle of ditching the condoms with my FWB resulting in even more mind blowing sex to keep my roommates awake at night.

Here I sit after all this time in a new place, with new friends a divorce and children between me and who I was then, and yet life is coming full circle.

A few weeks ago I found Mary Black's album, it had been lost in a mislabeled jewel case for about 4 years. I've rejoined AFF recently and am well on my way to redoubling the number of my past sexual partners. I once again have a FWB who's conversation and sex are both immensely enjoyable. I've found several female friends and couples that I enjoy playing with immensely.

Most of the people I've met have been strangers, but I've met one close friend from my vanilla life on AFF and have discovered some very interesting social connections between my swinging life and my vanilla life, as well. I'm typing on a brand new, and oh so sexy, Microsoft-free laptop. I still have that old laptop. I'm planning to donate it to a swinger friend of mine who has thankfully ditched her sketchy boyfriend and needs a boost into nursing school. I doubt I'll tell her how important it was in setting me on this path of hedonism, friendship, and exploration that ultimately led to to meeting her.

Life is funny that way I guess. I'm glad I decided to explore my fantasies, it has enriched my life in more ways than just sexually. I'm glad for the friends I've met and the relationships I've formed. In a strange way it feels like this funny balance of non-monogamy that I've worked out fits me and my needs better than even I had expected it would. I'm sure things will change, and life will send me on other adventures, but these experiences have taught me more about confidence, living life to it's fullest, and about who I am as a person and as a sexual being than I ever could have learned had I not made the decision to jump into this lifestyle and try it out. It's funny how life brings you around full circle sometimes and lets you know who you are.

Song of the Week

2009-05-27T23:15:00.000-07:00

You knew this was coming, you've just hoped it would take longer. Yes...you can't have a sex song of the week without paying homage to the kings of sex music, the bane of Tipper Gore, the most perverted freestylin' gangsters that ever lived. Yeah, I'm talking about 2 Live Crew!

If you weren't around in 1989 cover your ears, these guys are possibly the worst rappers this side of the local karaoke bar. There are some seriously weak rhymes in here, I mean Vanilla Ice bad and sometimes worse. But in 1989 you could still get gigs with bad rhymes if you could rap about everybody's favorite secret pastime...sex. The dirtier the better.

So, for your listening enjoyment I give you We Want Some P-ssy!!! from their first album "Is Who We Are". (Yes, the title was edited on the album. Apparently they still had some modesty at that point) And who could write a post like this without including the most famous track Me So Horny from their most notorious album "Nasty as they Wanna Be", with it's sample lifted directly from Full Metal Jacket. I'm sure Kubrick was proud.

Here are my favorite (?) lyric excerpts, although even as I type this I am laughing at how ridiculous they look on the page:

We Want Some P-ssy!!!

You see, me and my homies like to play this game
We call it Amtrak but some call it the train
We all would line up in a single-file line
And take our turns at waxing girls behinds...

...We can go backstage at the end of the show
I'll look at you, and you will look at me
With my dick in my hands as you fall to your knees
You know what to do, cause I wont say please
Just nibble on my dick like a rat does cheese!

Me So Horny

You tell your parents that were goin out
Never to the movies, just straight to my house
You said it yourself, you like it like I do
Put your lips on my dick, and suck my asshole too

Although I can't say I agree at all with Tipper Gore you would think there would have been a sizable contingent of rap enthusiasts who wanted these guys gone just to preserve the medium. It's really terrible music despite the memories of childhood it brings back.

Here's the video (cringe...)

A Religion I Could Support

2009-05-20T12:59:00.000-07:00

Carlos Bebeacua, a native or Uraguay and resident of Sweden, is attempting to register the Madonna of the Orgasm Church as an official religious group in Sweden. The courts have done their best to keep this from happening, on the grounds that the name is offensive to Christians, but the latest decision seems to have gone his way.

The religion is inspired by Bebeacua's painting, "Madonna of the Orgasm" which was sanctioned at the Worlds Fair for being pornographic. I honestly don't see porn in the painting above, at least not more than most erotic nudes. Whatever.

“The orgasm is God, the orgasm should be worshiped."
“The orgasm is the ultimate feeling of lust, it shouldn’t be limited to ejaculation. You can reach it through art or by looking at a landscape and thinking ‘Wow!’”

The church has only preistesses, and has a pretty bare bones dogma. Basically just reverence of sex and orgasm. Sounds good to me.

When it comes right down to it, Bebeacua’s religion is no more ridiculous than believing in sacred underwear, baptizing and marrying the dead, Thetans trapped in meat bodies, or eating the body and drinking the blood of a dead savior. - Beyond Cron

This is a church I could get behind, a church that could inspire some very long, hard, and deep thoughts.

A Bonobo Among Chimps

2009-05-15T22:35:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel like a bonobo lost amongst a throng of chimpazees. Luckily I am able to restrain my urges to engage in random public sex every time something ticks me off!! You see bonobos look alot like chimps but tend to solve disputes sexually rather than with theatrics and force. Apes are cranky...so bonobos have lots of sex.

Sometimes I look around and realize that there is a difference between me and the rest of the chimps. Namely, when I'm in a crowd I can look around and be fairly certain that no one around me saw a friend online while getting ready to head home from studying...and had an unexpected, wild, and oh-so-stress-relieving threesome before finally heading home for bed. I can be equally certain that none of the stressed out and bedraggled students that frequently surround me took a night off, in the middle of a week that averaged less than three hours of sleep a night, to have incredible, rough and dirty sex until four in the morning.

Here's to the folks who helped me through finals week. You know who you are. It helped my sanity if not my sleep deficit.

Oh, and a shout-out to a great blogger on my favorite swingers site who recommended energy shots. Of course she recommended them for long nights of sex after taking a couple college boys home from the club, but they work equally well as a substitute for sleep when the workload has piled up to the point that sleep is no longer an option. No jitters, no sour stomach from copious amounts of coffee. They work pretty darn well.

I'm DONE!!!! goodnight...

Song of the Week

2009-05-10T19:57:00.000-07:00

I remember 1989, I won't deny it. I'll even admit to enjoying it. One moment in particular sticks out in my mind. I remember little league games were over for the year and the team celebrated the year with a trip to the nearest water park. I was lucky enough to score a ride with the cool kids, in the car with the only parent that allowed us to listen to the music we really wanted...gangsta rap. Well...maybe he wouldn't have allowed NWA or 2 Live Crew, but Tone Loc was ok and we ate it up.

I remember sitting in the back seat of a minivan shouting out the words to Wild Thing and Funky Cold Medina and thinking I knew what it was about. Thinking back a teenage boys idea of sex is WAY different from the reality. I'm glad I'm no longer so naive.

Still, it's fun to look back on Tone Loc's amazing gravelly voice with an air of nostalgia. So...here it is in all it's glory.

I give you his first #1 single, Wild Thing:

...and his second #1 single, Funky Cold Medina:

I bet none of you know that Tone Loc has a filmography of 29 films. I thought Ice Cube was the only one who made it big in the movies. Wait...Tone Loc was in Fern Gully, I guess he didn't exactly make it big. Still, I'm sure it payed the bills after his music career hit the skids.

Here's a sample of his work in Fern Gully. There's no mistaking him. I love that gravelly voice.

Song of the Week

2009-05-04T01:12:00.000-07:00

Hello again. I can't believe it's been another week. The month has gone by like a streaker on a moonlit night!

For your pleasure I've lined up three new songs by the wonderful band Rilo Kiley. I love their newest CD Under the Blacklight. And I don't just love it because Jenny Lewis is a confident, liberated babe or because the songs are rank with sex. I love this album because nearly every song is amazing, the songwriting and instrumentation is great and it has a mood through the whole CD that keeps me hooked.

I'm sure you will all scream that I'm some sort of pervert for putting the song "15" first on the player. Sure it's about underage girls meeting older men in chatrooms, but it's more than that. This song will stick in your head like there's no tomorrow and it's the first song about the internet sex phenomenon that it truely a classic of the era. This song documents how sex blogs, chat and hookup-sites like AFF have revolutionized American sexuality, for better or for worse. So, listen and watch away.

Here's a taste of the lyrics.

She was bruised like a cherry
Ripe as a peach
How could he have known
That she was only fifteen

And she came to him like a tick on the noose
Little blue eyed soul for his black and blues

T's a new move for the likes of me
Our skin is like grass
Let's smoke it real fast
Is anybody out there?

He was deep like a grave yard wide like TV
And how could he have known
That she'd be down for almost anything

But she was only, only, only fifteen

The second song I've queued up is from the same album. The title is "Dejalo". It's a wonderful sex song and nearly as catchy at "15". Here's a taste of those lyrics.

My mama is an atheist
If i stay out late she don't get pissed
I got a place if you wanna go
I got some time if you wanna...

Ready to go
Ready to go
(When you're) ready to go
Just say so

She sleeps on your right side
She gets nailed, I get tied
I sleep on your left side
Hundred ways to keep love alive

Finally, I've included the song "Smoke Detector". The lyrics are far raunchier than the other two, but the song itself is an acquired taste. The metaphor is bizarre and the tune is a bit strident. It took me a few months to get used to it, now that it has sunk in a bit I love it. It's adventurous, experimental, and exudes the same fuck-you-I'm-sexy vibe that oozes from every pore of Jenny Lewis' body. Have fun...

There is a girl in a tank top
She is not wearin’ a bra
She looks so hot on the dance floor
She does the smoke detector

She says danger
Do the smoke detector
She says danger
I’m a smoke detector

I took a man back to my room
I was smokin’ him in bed
Yeah, I was smokin’ in bed
This is what he said
I took a man back to my room
Yeah, I was smokin’ in bed
Yeah, I was smokin’ in bed
This is what he said

Start the revolution! Raise your voice and sing!

2009-05-01T10:21:00.000-07:00

Alright, here's the deal. I have 40 free downloads left at eMusic. I need to use them up but I've downloaded all of the artists I've had a yen for already. I could just pick what looks cool and take my chances, it's always a good way to find good music. Instead though, I realized I have a wealth of music loving acquaintances on here who might be able to recommend some awesome music.

What's in it for you, you ask? Well...a good portion of the music I've downloaded this month is prime Song of the Week material. I'm drowning in great sex music.

So here's the deal. Each recommendation that I end up downloading will result in an extra song of the week this month. I tend to download albums, so don't expect 40 extra songs of the week. If there are some awesome recommendations I might extend my eMusic subscription though, so your could conceivably end up with tons of cool music to listen to.

It's in your hands now. Start the revolution, rise up and let your voice be heard!!!

Control

2009-04-28T23:31:00.001-07:00

I know someone who will enjoy these, probably more than one. You know who you are...

Perfect ass and very creative

Hot!...and she matches the couch

Under their control now

Just a hint

Understanding

Struggle all you want, it just gets hotter.

Complete control

Pics via Darker Sights And Sounds, Roesje, Bend Me Over

Ethical Quandary

2009-04-28T19:04:00.000-07:00

"Bad News" by Ilya Rashap via Roesje

I swing with couples occasionally. I always play by the campsite rule "Leave it better than you found it" (as postulated by Dan Savage but applied to everyone, not just younger lovers). For me this is especially important when playing with couples. I respect that couples have a relationship and that relationships take work. I'm not interested in coming between a couple, causing drama, or falling in love with the wife. This isn't a negotiable thing with me at all. If I thought that I was going to fall for the lady of a couple and start causing drama I would not sleep with them.

On the other hand, when I do play, part of the appeal is the spark between a couple. I enjoy the interplay between a couple; the shyness at first and the shared looks, wondering if it's ok to have a good time and the murmured approval from their partner, eventually giving in to the passion and letting go, and the loving looks between them afterward. I think its sweet, tender and wonderful in an odd way. My hope is that we all have a great time and that their relationship is stronger after the experience.

Recently though, I discovered something about a couple that I have played with that challenges the campfire rule in an unexpected way. Namely, it's hard to stay removed from the relationship when you realize that you are suddenly in the middle.

I met this couple on CL and have played with them several times. She is significantly younger than me, he is about my age. She is incredibly sweet, beautiful, very sexual, and also very intelligent. She has everything going for her. He has been to prison and is generally a bad boy. This is all well and good, he seemed to be a nice guy who had things under control and was doing well for himself. That was before he started revealing things to me that made it obvious that he was willing to trample on her emotions without giving it a second thought.

Their relationship is complicated. They still are a couple in the lifestyle but are in the process of breaking up as a romantic couple. They are obviously very open sexually, so I assumed that they were ok with playing separately when he invited me to participate in a threesome with another woman. I did, and it was good. All was well. Later though, when he propositioned me again, he made it clear that his GF was not in the loop about it. Later that night he copied a bunch of pictures of our last threesome and included several hundred megabytes of pictures of other threesomes they had been in. I was fine with that (it's not the first time I've received pictures that I wasn't in) until he said later, "She'd be pissed if she knew I was doing this."

They no longer live together (...yes, it's complicated...) and she is younger and without alot of means as far as i can tell. She is very stressed out about things and I get the idea that she wants commitment in the relationship that he has plainly stated to me that he doesn't want anymore. Still...he leads her on with sex and I've seen him contradict himself about his intentions and actions by telling her things that I know for a fact are not true because I was with him alone when he said or did the opposite. There is also obviously some illegal things going on with him, and his illicit dalliances don't always include condoms so he is putting her at risk, at least in my eyes, although I know people have different views of sexual safety.

The situation is complicated by their kinks. Despite having sex with her several times she did not know until very recently who I was. This is due to a particular fantasy of hers that I helped to fulfill. So, while I know him fairly well I have really just recently begun to get to know her in anything but a carnal way. This makes it much harder for me to feel comfortable knowing what I can and can't share with her, and what her expectations are with him and with me. He has controlled the communication up to now, however we recently connected on a social networking site and she and I have exchanged some messages.

I feel very caught in the middle. On one hand I feel that I am her friend at least on some level, and as a younger woman she deserves the respect and help to get herself out of the situation she is in. At the same time I don't know them well enough to know what their rules for each other are in the lifestyle. At least some of the stuff I'm interpreting as cheating may in fact be ok with her. On the other hand I know that I am not a party to this relationship, that I am there occasionally for sex and little more. I don't feel I have the right to meddle in their affairs. I could simply say that I cannot play anymore with the reason that I can't be a party to what is going on. That could easily make things harder on her. Whether I choose to spill the beans to her directly or simply state that I don't like lying I don't feel I have built enough trust with either of them for that conversation to be anything but creating drama and making a bad situation worse.

As it stands I have made sure she has my number and that she can call at any time. I've offered her help with things like rides (she is car-less) and emotional support. I think that is all I can really do at the moment. I'd love to spill to her what I know (or think I know), but until I feel that there is some trust there as friends, not just someone she's fucked, I think that might only be stirring up drama.

I'd love to hear what you have to say. Am I holding back too much, should I be telling her exactly what I suspect and letting the cards fall where they may? What is the limit of a single male who swings with couples? At what point does a desire to make sure that no one is harmed by my swinging translate into actively helping someone get out of a relationship that is obviously unhealthy for them?

There should be a "Swinging Ethics for Single Men 101" class. Although this can be a wonderful lifestyle there are definitely minefields to be navigated when situations are less than ideal.

Fake but cool

2009-04-28T18:20:00.001-07:00

Song of the Week

2009-04-27T21:08:00.000-07:00

Here's one for the country fans in the audience. Although, admittedly, there is a serious schism amongst hardcore country music aficionados as to whether Lyle is worth listening too or not. Personally I enjoy anyone that can write music the way he can, and if someone that ugly can marry Julia Roberts then not only is my musical world complete but my faith in it has been reaffirmed!

The song is "Give Back My Heart"off of Lyle Lovetts album Pontiac. The album is definitely on my deserted island top ten list and the song makes me laugh every time. Why is it song of the week you ask? The third verse says it all...and the bridge says everything I've ever thought about rednecks (Although I will admit to having a bit of a thing for a gorgeous ass in riding gear and a pair of worn and dirty Wranglers).

...But the road was long and home was far
So I stopped off at this little cowboy-looking bar
I walked on through the door and she just smiled
In a long pony tail and a pretty white dress
She said, "Hi, bull riders do it best."
I said, "Oh my God! What's your name,
My name's Lyle"...

(Bridge)
I told her redneckness has got to be a disease
You catch it on your fingers and it just crawls right up your sleeves
Ooh give back my heart chipkicker-redneck woman
I can't be no cowgirl paradise

Here's a video for those who want to see it live. He's a pretty good storyteller.

Anyone who can find a hot ass-picture of a cowgirl in Wranglers gets the prize. The lady above has a gorgeous body and delicious ass, but she lost her jeans riding the bulls apparently. If you find a pic to replace it with send it in. I'll pick the best one and post it.

Have fun

Song of the Week

2009-04-20T13:11:00.000-07:00

I love the blues. And really, there isn't another genre better for swingers aside from possibly George Clinton & Parliment Funkadelic or Al Greene. The blues is all about sex. Sex is so rooted in the blues that you can't really take it out. All the old blues songs are full of sexual double entendre. Everybody loves Dust My Broom by Robert Johnson and very few people realize its a masturbation song.

I'm gonna wake up in the morning
I believe I'll dust my broom
I'm gonna wake up in the morning
I believe I'll dust my broom
Girlfriend that black man you been lovin'
Whoo Hoo can have my room

But everyone knows that song from the numerous covers by Led Zepplin and others. Not everyone wants to dig into the old blues players, but I've always enjoyed it. So, without further ado I bring you Hesitation Blues by Rev. Gary Davis. Davis was one of the most influential blues players of all time. Amazing guitar style and, as you'll see, a way with the crowd.

Here are some lyrics, in case you wonder why this is a sex song:

I ain't your good man,
ain't your good man's son
But I can get in the place of your good man,
'til your good man comes

I ain't no cradle rocker,
ain't no cradle rocker's son
But I can do a little rockin' for you,
'til the rocker man comes

I ain't no milkman,
ain't no milkman's son
But I can keep you supplied,
'til your milkman comes

If you like sexual innuendo you really should check out the blues masters. Songs like Terraplane Blues, Milkcow's Calf Blues, and so many others are so over the top you will be amazed. Hope you have fun until the next installment.

Sugasm #163

2009-04-17T22:38:00.000-07:00

I entered Sugasm again with my first Wet Spot post. I didn't make the top picks, darn! But it's fun to be a part of such great erotic writing and the top three are especially good this week.

Sugasm #163

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #164? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks

Another Night With My Beer Buddy

“She nodded, her eyes closing with pleasure, his arm working.”

Blowjob in Red

“My voice descended into lust.”

Her dirty talk got me off. twice.

“Why does that turn me on so goddamn much?”

Sugasm Editor

Sex Work And Honesty: The Correct Answer

Editor’s Choice

Stockinged Feet

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

The rest of the submissions are below the fold. There are lots of good ones there as well...have fun!

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships

Is Sex Positivity Bad for Feminism?

The Mark

NSFW Pics, Videos and Audio

Deviantly Different -HNT

Katrina Darrell Bikini Pictures from American Idol

Sex and Politics

It’s All Over Now Baby Blue…

Erotic Writing and Experiences

Ah, those heels

The Classless in Stripperville

Domination Fantasy

Fucking Ratios, Part 1

Fun With Rose

Kiss Me

Lisa’s torments 2 & 3

Naughty Photoshoot!

A Perfect Welcome

The Reunion

Shivers

Wet. Confession #258

Wet Spot #1 (Crescent Moons)

Wild Dream

Sex Advice

Nookie Tip

Solo Lady Love - Women and Masturbation

Steps Towards Enjoying Sex

BDSM & Fetish

Carnal Conversations

Cop Performs Subdrop Aftercare

Dream Whore

Explaining Cell Popping

A Pain-Drenched Rolling Stone Gathers No Moss

Poetic license

Sex News, Reviews, and Interviews

The Hitachi Magic Wand - How it saved (or literally started up) my sex life

Pasties: Tassel Twirling 101

Race Play Interview, Part I

Radio Interview Tonight!

A Liberal Dose of Teabagging fun!

2009-04-16T11:25:00.000-07:00

I haven't met many Republican swingers. I think the idea of voting a "Family Values (as defined by James Dobson)" ticket scares most of us away from the Grand Old Party. So I doubt this post will offend many of you.

The above picture and the video's below really say it all. You can't get much worse media spin than this if you tried. Even the Vitter scandal didn't lead to stories filled with barely concealed sexual imagery and inuendo on major network news. That could have been one tea bag in the picture above the anchors left shoulder, and even with two they could have been depicted as unused, square, white tea bags. Instead they are vaguely wrinkly, dark, and hung with one slightly lower than the other. I think there's a reason...and this being a sex blog I think I'll feel free to explain.

I feel a bit sorry for the Republicans. They can't seem to buy a break or a clue lately. I thought the spat between Steele and Limbaugh was the height of poor media relations, but now they want all of us to join them in teabagging Obama. And they don't want us to stop there, they want us to teabag all of Congress and openly state our teabagging sentiments in public.

I know our new first family is hot, but I don't know if they're that kinky! Feel free to give it a try though, if you really feel like it.

I would guess that most of you know what the colloquial definition of teabagging is but is case you don't I'll state it plainly from Wikipedia.

Teabagging is a slang term for the act of a man placing his scrotum in the mouth or on or around the face (including the top of the head) of another person, often in a repeated in-and-out motion as in irrumatio. The practice vaguely resembles dipping a tea bag into a cup of tea.

The Republicans are trying to harken back to the Boston tea party to protest increased taxes under Obama (I won't even begin to wade into that argument, this isn't a political blog). Unfortunately none of the kinky Congressmen currently trawling the internet or airport bathrooms for underage babes, male pages, or prostitutes had the temerity to open their mouth and let the leadership know the meaning their moniker already held.

Take a look at these two videos to see just how far some shows have gone in subtley mocking this faux pas.

This one has to have set a record for the number of blatant sexual inuendo's ever strung together within a major network news story.

"If your planning simultaneous teabagging all around the country you're going to need a Dick Armey"!!! I love it!!

And watch as Rachel Maddow and Ana Marie Cox can barely conceal their laughter.

Finally...a YouTube satire that holds a special place in my heart since it mentions Minnesota's own right wing "Family Values" and anti-rational thought kook, Michelle Bachman.

Not that I hope any actual teabaggers out there will be moved to stop due to my screed! I wholeheartedly support your right to express yourself both in and out of doors. So make sure to add teabagging to your fun this weekend, and help the Republican party send the right message to Washington! I'm positive that the Republican leadership would love a picture or two from all of us to help clarify the meaning of their movement ;)

Song of the Week

2009-04-12T08:04:00.000-07:00

Here is a new song of the week for all you loyal listeners.

Today we veer away from the good side of sex into that side where communication has broken down. As any swinger knows this is bad voodoo. It's fun to swing together or separately as long as there is good communication. When that communication breaks down, or one person sleeps around to hurt the other, there are serious problems.

Luckily I've not had that problem but I can see where it would be a really bad situation. To keep those thoughts from getting too morose here is a comedic look at what happens when somebody is sleeping around without the other knowing, and is finally caught out. The lyrics are great, so great I'm including them in their entirety here.

This is a bullet from a gun called "what the fuck?"
If i was standing in your shoes I'd throw my hands straight up
And start explaining at the speed of light, not sound
How the words get some coffee came to mean get down
And all the kings horses and all the kings yen
Couldn't stop the abracadabra that invites these men
And all the alleyways in Amsterdam could not compete
Against the wall street speed with which you leave your feet

Oh yes, this song is a joke
Funny like our house going up in smoke
Funny like the bomb between my teeth when we kiss
You pulled out the pin with your own sweet lips

Everytime the phone rings you get there first
And when the pizza man comes you always run for your purse
Now I'm the son of a banker, I know just what the deal is
If you wrote it out in braille, I wouldn't even have to feel it

Oh yes, this song is a joke
Funny like our house going up in smoke
Funny like the bomb between my teeth when we kiss
You pulled out the pin with your own sweet lips

Funny how goodbye can sound so sad sometimes
Today it sounds happy like a nursery rhyme
And you're not cinderella, so don't forget your shoes
I've never been as lonely as when I was with you

Oh yes, this song is a scream
Funny like our loving doused in gasoline
Funny like the bomb between my teeth when we kiss
You pulled out the pin with your own sweet lips

This is fireman McNeil from the Hennepin line
We got the call around ten, we couldn't get there in time
There was a driveway leading to a hole in the ground
I got the heebies bone deep and turned the truck straight around

Oh yes, this song is a joke
Funny like my fingers in your bicycle spokes
Funny like the bomb between my teeth when we kiss
You pulled out the pin with your own sweet lips

The song is Bullet by Mason Jennings, from his album Century Spring. He used to be a sortof underground musician in Minneapolis. I saw him play a free show at the Electric Fetus record store once. Now he's turing with Jack Johnson, so I guess you can definitely say he's made a name for himself.

Lady in Red

2009-04-04T17:32:00.000-07:00

It's spring, about that there is no doubt.

I'm sitting in my favorite coffee-shop and an off duty barista walks in wearing one of the most daring outfits I've seen outside of a gay club. She has the body to pull it off which is refreshing. I've had my fill of muffin-tops and other sundry and all-too-common fashion faux pas common to the Inland Northwest hinterlands (And most of the US for that matter). Needless to say she turned heads in her short, bright red dress.

It was fit loose with a single strap around the neck originating from a ring in the center of the chest. Rather than a flowing hem it transitioned to a tight stretchy hem at the bottom that hugged her more than desirable curves. The hem ended only inches after the transition from hips to thighs. Sitting down would have been an interesting endeavor. To top off the look she was carrying a 3 foot baguette as if to prove some Freudian point.

The baristas behind the counter shooed her out saying, "Leave before you distract anyone else!". I'm not ashamed to say I was one of the heads that turned on a dime when she walked in.

I can't seem to find a good song that embodies this spring feeling. I can think of lots of summer songs, quite a few lazy sunday songs, but nothing that fits spring. Can anyone help me out?

Until I find something here is a dose of 80's schlock that fits the content, if not the mood, of the moment

Sugasm #162

2009-04-04T16:30:00.000-07:00

I put my post on "The First Nudie Musical" in the Sugasm for this week. I didn't make the top of the fold, there are some great posts this week. Have a look at the top posts on this page and the rest below the fold.

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #163? Submit a link to your best post of the week by emailing me directly at radicalvixenatgmaildotcom Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks

Justify My Love

“All I could think of was to have his arms around me so that they could make everything right.”

Tied Naked In A Field Of Grass

“Growing up on a farm has its advantages.”

On Machismo

“It’s very weird, this rigid interpretation of gender in America.”

Sugasm Editor

Sex Work And Compassion: The Angry Family

Editor’s Choice

Heat

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

BDSM & Fetish

brock’s Task

Golden Spike

Impish

Let’s try how it works

Playing Safe

Ritual

Roommate’s Revenge

Sleeping with Daddy

Erotic Writing and Experiences

Beneath Him

He Likes Me

In The Shadows

Jenniffer from AFF

Red Pajamas

Stripper Sex. Stripper Fuck. Stripper Fun

Three Views of a Nude

Watching Girls IV, Personal Invitation

Work Violation

You Ask Me

Sex Humor

Dancing dildo’s and other sundry details…

Sex News, Reviews, and Interviews

Mistress Kara Chains, a wicked toy, and my naughty behind

The Mistress Manual review

Pixazza + Adsense for Porn & Adultworld

A review on 32″ curved Walnut and Maple Cane by Wycked Synsations with Sera Miles.

Sex Toy Review: ShowerBabe

Think of Your Sex Toy Chest Like a Golf Bag

Top Five Tuesday - Sports Edition

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio

Bijou - All woman

Nicole Scherzinger Sexy Maxim Photoshoot

Within Temptation -HNT

Womanizer (in sign language)

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships

Admonishment Comes at a Heavy Price

Advertising: Sex, Commerce and Sexual Turn-Ons

Caveat, Qualifier, Disclaimer …

An Escort to Remember

HNT ~ Blood Makes Noise

Is Kink Oppressed? Is it Oppressed like ____?

Labels, identities, and asking

Song of the Week

2009-04-04T15:35:00.000-07:00

It's time again for the song of the week. I'm sure you all have been waiting with baited breath for this post all week.

I saw you on the dance floor with a quiver in your knee

All the beautiful girls out dancing to those precious melodies

You were like a wildflower, honey, at the mercy of the river and the breeze

I wanna take that quiver and put it all over me

Romantica, "Quiver"

She leaves her number on the bar every time she comes around

"Give me a call on the weekend honey, when Tony's out of town"

"You're to young to get married honey, you aughta be sleeping around"

Well I do vicariously through everybody in this town

Romantica, "On My Mind"

Although I'm still stressed I'm veering back from the hard stuff into something more mellow. Spring is finally here today in my neck of the woods and the college girls and cougars are out walking in the sun. There is a sexual charge to alot of the conversations I've had in the last week. Everyone wants some touch, or at least someone to hang out with. There's nothing like walking outside in the Spring with your arm around a beautiful girl, no matter how fleeting the relationship.

These two songs remind me of that feeling. They also remind me of winter in the midwest, the only place where coat check goes unused at the clubs when it's 20 below outside. First Avenue in Minneapolis (both the club and the general area) is a fun place to party and I love seeing the pretty girls walk by as the clubs shut down in the summer. There is a nice adrenaline rush of seeing a pretty girl out on the dance floor and beginning that awkward dance that sometimes but rarely leads to more than just a dance.

The songs are by the band Romantica, from their albums "It's Your Weakness that I Want" and "America". The lyrics let you know why they fit the criteria for the song of the week. This is a great band that is still waiting to really get discovered. I'm not sure how to classify them. Their first album is pretty much pop but they have strayed into alt-country and certainly are more cerebral than your average pop band. Maybe polished americana. Here's a cool video of one of their best non-sexual songs from their new album. You can find it on their myspace here.

Romantica "The National Side" Video

If your goal is to meet women drive down first ave. at bar close in January. Scantily clad girls will literally beat on your windows for a ride. They aren't looking for you though, they are looking for a warm car since none of them think to bring a coat. Still, it is a trip and you meet some really interesting people that way.

Another very hot picture

2009-04-02T18:26:00.000-07:00

Image via Darker Sights & Sounds

Wow! Hot Picture!

2009-04-02T18:01:00.001-07:00

Picture via Darker Sights and Sounds

Wet Spot #1 (Crescent Moons)

2009-04-01T17:37:00.000-07:00

I have decided not to wash my hands for a while longer.

I am standing in my darkened office late at night and the shadows have become movie reels replaying the adventures of tonight; the hours waiting for the call to enter your house, the anticipation as I saw you blindfolded and hesitant waiting on the bed for my arrival, the chatter of your teeth on the silver charm of your necklace as you nervously toyed with it in anticipation of the unfolding events, and finally the meeting of our bodies and the slow change from reluctant shivers to eager grasping and eventually the shudders of deep and ecstatic release.

Out of the visual cacophony of images I focus on the horizontal light in your darkened room that gave each curve of your body its own bright halo. Halos that upon closer inspection revealed goosebumps that betrayed your struggle between anticipation and fear of the unknown. I recall the halo of light over your hips and wonderfully flat stomach as I knelt between your legs, smelling your scent before my tongue arrived at your skin.

The flickering movie reels detail how the crescent of light on your hips was joined by the second smaller crescent of your mons, waxing gibbous as you raised your hips to press your wonderfully soft and delicate lips against my own. The dark new-moon circle of your mouth as my tongue slid further downward over the slick and salty-sweet opening of your pussy to the place just below, the spot that elicited a gasp and caused your body to arch into a crescent of seamlessly strong and lithe beauty each time I arrived there with my tongue. I recall my fingers sliding inside you - two to hold you open and two to penetrate you - while my palm rubbed and pushed against your eager clit, causing the arch of your body to increase as you began to pant and strain for more.

It has been about an hour since I slipped out the door without you ever knowing my name. I left quietly, leaving you with only the feel and scent of my body, the groans and spasms of my orgasm, and the whispered sound of my voice allaying your fears and letting you know that your body was exactly what I had hoped for and more. I left while bright sparks of light reflected the lines and puddles of my fresh orgasm, like bright points of starlight strewn amongst the crescent moons of your back and hips. As I left you moaned with the familiar feeling of your boyfriend penetrating where I had only recently left. Before shutting the door I watched the constellation of moons that defined your darkened body begin to move, waxing and waning in the dim light from sliver to full with the well practiced patterns of your fucking.

Alone now In the dark I have found that my hand is slightly rough with the dried evidence you have left on my fingers and palm. Your smell is intoxicating and seems to increase the saturation and contrast of the many images cascading across the dark walls around me.

It will be some time before I wash my hands tonight...

The Wet Spot is my attempt at short form erotica. My intent is to provide you with a short erotic charge but leave you wet and unsatisfied. The point is twofold. This type of writing is something I can fit into my busy schedule, and I hope the inconclusive nature of the writing spurs you to act on your fantasies and live your life to the fullest. I'll post a new Wet Spot at random and create a list of them on the sidebar.

Image via Teen Sex Dare

Dancing dildo's and other sundry details...

2009-03-28T00:09:00.000-07:00

So the other day I was talking about "The StaXXX" and waxed poetic about the possibilities of well acted and directed porno. Little did I know that a parody of that was waiting in my living room as I wrote that...on a VHS tape that I thought was trash! I watched it and I have now seen the height of campy 80's cult movies!

It was a tape that supposedly had a video of me as a child at a school event. We got a copy from a friend of a friend from school years ago and it has been sitting on the shelf. But, on watching it with my parents it became clear it wasn't that at all. It was a recording of late-night TV from the 80's instead, and it contained the most hilarious movie I've ever watched.

Called "The First Nudie Musical" it is set around a producer of porno who has fallen on hard times. He must make a great movie to appease the investors in the studio and keep his studio. He hits upon the idea of creating the first musical porno and the story begins. It's sortof a musical within a musical, with about the lowest budget I've ever seen and the lowest brow humor possible. It one of the greatest cult movies I've ever seen.

There is nothing like laughing until you cry while naked women parade across the screen to end your friday night. The musical numbers are hilarious. There's the grouchy, black piano player who is writing the score as it's being performed and occasionally puts his cigarette out and yells, "bullsh*t" in the middle of everything with great comedic effect. There's the final number "Let them eat cake, while I eat you" that couldn't possibly be more over the top and yet is topped by the "Dancing Dildo's" musical number. You haven't lived until you've seen naked men dancing inside big white vibrator costumes until the actress sings, "Ladis, push your buttons" at which point all the 'dildoes' begin to vibrate.

Perhaps the best non-musical scene is when the "stunt cock" arrives and Juanita, the hispanic actress who's husband says she can be in the movie, "If there's no touching," leaves the stage saying, "Eets yust so beeg!" again and again in an over the top hispanic accent. And then there are the shots of the clapper-board as a scene starts with lines like, "Orgasm #1. Rolling!". The whole movie is filled with the most insane quote gems though, it doesn't end there.
Unfortunately there aren't many sites with info on the movie. This is a pretty good review of the film. Here is a russian fan site that has great pictures (I stole a few). I linked to the babelfish translation because it is nearly as hilarious to read as the movie was to watch. There is Diana Canova's song "Perversion" on YouTube, but this is a pretty lame song compared with the others. The song "Lesbian, Butch, Dyke" is also on YouTube. Here is the IMDB and Wikipedia entries as well.

I think I may have to digitize a couple scenes and put them on YouTube just for posterity's sake. This is too good a cult movie to not have clips on YouTube. Here are the YouTube clips that do exist.

Song of the week

2009-03-27T15:31:00.000-07:00

I think I'm a bit early here but I like the Song of the Week so here goes.

This one has less to do with sex and more to do with mindless hedonism edging on complete nihilism. That, and the mood of the songs is exactly what I'm needing right about now. Not that I'm spiraling into a pit of hedonism with no thought for my personal safety, I'm just really busy and stressed. When that happens I always reach for the harder stuff, NIN, Smashing Pumpkins ("Rat in a Cage" describes my state at the moment), Nirvana, and...the Butthole Surfers.

I've always loved the album Electriclarryland and I can't figure out why. "Pepper" is my favorite, with that awesome tune and brooding and nihilistic lyrics, but the whole album seems to be a spiral into the darkness of human existence. My favorite songs from this spiral are "My Brothers Wife", a scary look into the psyche of someone who is much more disturbed than simply having an attraction, and "The Lord is a Monkey". This one is about as screwed up a song as I've ever heard. Heard together they are more than a bit disturbing if you think about it, but it's quite a ride to just let it flow and go with the feeling for a bit. You will come out the other side very disturbed but invigorated.

Here's the video, unfortunately it's strangely censored and abridged, but it gets the point across. It's a pretty cool video.

What do these songs have to do with sex? The band name alone qualifies them under my loose criteria but the lyrics all have something to do with the seedy or demented sides of sex. They are more than a bit disturbing, but great for releasing tension after a long day of stress.

What do you think?

2009-03-25T13:16:00.001-07:00

There comes a time in the life of every sex blog when the question arises:

Do you kiss and tell, or keep it cerebral?

I want to know from my readers what you want. Would you like the juicy details of my sex life? Do you like things more cerebral and less pornographic? Do you want a mix of the two, and if so what mix is best?

I'm leaning towards a mix of the two but I have my reservations. First, I have done tell all blogs in the past and there are certain downsides to them if you are ever found out by people who don't live a similar lifestyle. Second, some people are not interested in that, they'd rather be teased than get the full monty. Third, I don't want to alienate potential lovers, mates, or even partners who don't want to hear about my sexual exploits.

I would value your opinion. After all, I write this blog for you as much as for me.

What kind of content do you want to read? ( online surveys)

The StaXXX - This isn't your mother's "Girls Gone Wild"

2009-03-23T20:30:00.000-07:00

So here I sit in the top of the library of my university. It's been a long time since I ventured into the dusty nether regions of a library. You have to admit that there is a certain atmosphere in the stacks that is a bit invigorating, something about the smell of old paper. With a major firmly planted in the sciences rather than the humanities I've become accustomed to having the wealth of modern information downloaded to my Macbook via Google Scholar and haven't ventured into the sensuous musk of the stacks, er...StaXXX, for many years. Thank god for interdisciplinary degrees!

Do you recall the furor that erupted back in 2001 with the news that a Yale student club called Porn N' Chicken would be filming a porno partially within the confines of the revered campus library? Having just graduated from a not quite ivy league institution I was all ears for this news. Anyone who has gone to college knows the rumors of sex in the stacks of the library. I don't know anyone who has personally done it, but the rumor persists. The name of the film was a play on words of this famous spot for surreptitious sex.

It turns out that the film never was made, although a trailer was released eventually. It is still up for debate whether the film was a real concept, or simply a prank to get the goat of the Yale Corporation. Still, the people behind the stunt made good in ivy league fashion by selling the rights to a TV movie that was eventually released on Comedy Central.

I think this is really pretty cool. Porn needs a bit of ivy league influence, especially college porn. I am universally appalled by the Girls Gone Wild and College Fuckfest videos that I've seen on the net. They are pretty debasing. On the other hand I've seen a couple of very arty foreign porn videos that really were good in ways beyond the sex. I've always wondered what a really talented director, with the help of some very good and open minded actors, could come up with. Who better than the Ivy League to bring that about?

Still, this controversy rages on in different forms with stories about student erotica magazines such as the Harvard 'H Bomb', Vassar College 'Squirm', and Swarthmore 'Unmentionables'. I know in my time at at school there were periodic petitions of the administration by student government to create a clothing optional dorm floor or theme house. Streaking has always been popular and I saw and participated in multiple games of naked ultimate frisbee and general streaking around campus. More power to students who want to push the limits and break us out of the Puritanical culture we've inherited.

Still, I doubt that stuff flies at my current institution of higher learning. This small conservative land graant school, a bastion of natural resource extraction and farm science, doesn't have the will, vision, or well appointed library to warrant a good porn. Oh well! I guess it's just me and whatever few like minded folks happen to reside nearby.

...Anyone want to meet me in the stacks?

Busy!!! and Naughty!!!

2009-03-23T14:42:00.000-07:00

Sheesh! I'm tired. Spring break is over and I feel like I spun my wheels all week and only got one thing done. It was a major part of my graduate work, but I still remain behind in multiple assignments in several classes despite sitting at my desk for a vast majority of the week.

I had a bit more fun over spring break than I had anticipated. Spring is here and you know what that means! That meant a couple of really late nights out with friends and acquaintances, a couple of coffee shop meetings with some people I met online (Believe it or not I used Craigslist for a non-sexual purpose and have met a couple really interesting folks to hang out with and expand my circle of friends), and a day spent in the love den of an online friend from a town 60 miles away.

I learned a thing or two as well about how some people seem to have no regard for sexual safety and are willing to play the game just to play it, keeping their partners in the dark. Needless to say it was a bit of an eye opener. Let's just say I am not a fan of Playa's.

* If you are sleeping with two people who seem not to know one another, and seem not to know that they are unknowingly swapping bodily fluids with each other via your unprotected organ, you should not invite me for a threesome. And if you do, you should at least have the courtesy of letting me know ahead of time that you have several girls on the line (and whether they know you are sleeping around).

*If you do invite me for a threesome, please don't tell me that I should tell her I'm a "friend of a friend from "X" major city far away" if she asks who I am. This is especially true if you have found me by posting a note on CL making it sound like you are both looking for guys together on CL.

*And don't invite me to a threesome the next night and only tell me minutes before that, "It's a different girl". I really don't enjoy the drama, the danger, or knowing that I may run into one of these wonderful ladies in this small town of ours and have to try to deal with your emotional baggage. Do you think I won't clue them in if I run into them without you around??? Beign truthful upfront is the only way to go.

On a positive note I am once again a huge fan of non-latex condoms. I've previously really enjoyed using Trojan Supra condoms and just tried Durex Avanti with similar results.

Latex is a heat insulator. Since a good portion of the pleasure of sex is the heat, regular condoms tend to dull that in a way that makes it hard for me to enjoy sex as much. These non-latex condoms are made from polyurethane which is a much better conductor of heat and can be produced very thin. I love the feeling, it's the best thing next to having no condom on at all. They don't stretch as well as latex, which is a bit uncomfortable for me since I'm above average in girth, but I'd rather have a bit of a squeeze than the feeling of a regular condom any day. Mostly the squeeze is in the ring of the condom, the actual condom either is large enough, or stretches enough, to be comfortable and the Supra condoms have an increasing taper toward the end that makes them loose right around the head where it matters. The tightness isn't as confining as a cock ring, and people use those all the time, so I wouldn't let the lack of stretch get in your way unless you are genuinely HUGE.

Song of the week

2009-03-20T23:40:00.000-07:00

Well, here's another song of the week. This may be the most bawdy set of songs yet. I think you will like it.

This comes from an album put out by a mens a cappella group from a small, very liberal, college in the Midwest. I'm sure there are a few uptight men that will be creeped out that the first song is addressed to a guy, from a guy. Don't get your panties in a bunch! Get over it! Gay people masturbate too, they might even masturbate over you and you wouldn't even know it!

Without further ado I give you "Masturbating Over You" by the Macalester Traditions. It is quite possibly both the sweetest crush song you've ever heard, and the raunchiest. I won't quote lyrics, it would do it a diservice. Just take a listen. It was included as a hidden track on the disc "The Plaid Album".

But we aren't done yet. These guys are sex song fiends! They also do the best, and only as far as I know, a cappella version of Nine Inch Nails "Closer". This really is incredible, you have to check it out.

And finally, one of the catchiest and most sexy songs on the album, "Make Love". This one is one that I like to sing in the shower.

So...hats off to the Macalester Traditions for making some of the best vocal porn known to man. You can buy the CD on their website here.

A bit of harmless oral fun

2009-03-16T16:43:00.000-07:00

I thought you all might like this one. I try my best not to be a mindless pie eater, but I'm not sure I've met a girl who likes a guided missile either. I like to play and tease, then alternate between the clit, her labia and vaginal opening, the spot just beneath her pussy that all women seem to like (And her ass if she's willing). Then, when she starts acting like she needs to get off I concentrate on her clit and enjoy the ride. What are your favorite techniques, man or woman.

Song of the...Week? Month? Quarter?

2009-03-13T15:34:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure when the last time was that I updated the song of the week. It's difficult to keep to committments on here when life has it's own committments that are much more pressing.

Without futher ado enjoy the Raggae groove of Buju Banton on the song "Love Sponge". I think the link to the topic of this blog is perfectly clear from the title. Still it's a beautiful song in it's way.

Chorus:
This one is called lovers choice
Never know yuh woulda really feel so nice, (love sponge)
I dont wanna let you go
With you im in no hurry (oh no)

This song is from his international breakout album Inna Heights. I fell in love with it during college when I spent hours and hours in the ceramics studio handbuilding sculpture and listening to whatever dubbed tapes were laying around and fairly free of clay dust.

This song, and the whole album, is linked in my mind to Macy Gray's song "I Try". It's sinply a coincidence, they didn't come out anywhere near the same time. It just so happened that "I Try" was huge during the same semester I was in teh ceramics class. When the tapes weren't playing the radio was on. It's a good one too, have a listen, she reminds me of the best of Dusty Springfield, Billy Holiday, and numerous other soul singers.

Other fish in the sea

2009-03-13T12:49:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling a bit down today. It's a strange feeling given that I'm having lots of fun socially and feel like I'm on top of the world in terms of my dating life. I don't think I've ever felt so confident in approaching women or flirting. There was a time when that never happened, I was the consumant wall flower. Now I feel like every girl wants to talk to me and I find myself being pulled to the side quite often just to chat. I like the twinkle in the eye that comes with flirting. It's like jumping out of a plane an inch at a time, little tiny butterflies as you teeter on the edge between holding back and going all the way.

Still, I feel down. I met a girl online who I had known tangentially (way too tangentially actually, that's the problem). She's very pretty, intelligent, and it doesn't help that I had a crush on her in person before contacting her online. Unfortunately it didn't work out, not for lack of interest on both sides, but because the tangential nature of our meeting has the potential for drama in both our lives. I respect that completely and wouldn't wish drama on anyone. Still, I think I was harboring unrealistic expectations of what I wanted.

I love to explore sexually and hope someday to meet a woman who enjoys it as much as I do. I am incredibly attacted to women who take their sexuality into their own hands and don't wait for guys. She embodies these things as far as i can tell. I'd love to make friends and see where it goes, but it appears friends is where it will stay.

I'm pretty good at no-strings most of the time, and even embrace it in most cases, but I will admit that there is a nebulous blues that comes with it sometimes when you've come to know someone and realize that it is better for both of you to leave. There are partners, and partners that never where, who I often wish I could have kept in touch with. Not that I wanted anything deeper but I came to enjoy their conversation, their quirks, and their outlook on life. It's funny that the very thing that gives me the blah's at the end of an NSA relationship is the exact thing that I seek to begin with.

Of all of the partners I've had, which isn't that many but enough, the ones I remember most are the ones that I really enjoyed being with as freinds. I still remember a couple that I became good friends with as much for the homebrew beer and conversation as for the scorching sex we shared. I think I'm searching for that again, and having thought I might have found it I'm a bit bummed that it didn't work out. There are other fish in the sea, it's just hard to appreciate them until you have them on the line and you can see them in all their beauty.

Smut and Computers

2009-03-03T00:39:00.000-08:00

This reminds me of a time I stopped into an old job to get some writing samples to pad my portfolio. My old boss had me sit at a an old co-workers cube to download it. While doing so I threw something in the trash by accident. What did I find when I went to retrieve my file? About ten folders labelled "Sweet Teen Takes Big Cock", "Anal Teen", "Underage Thai Sluts", etc...you get the idea. I gleefully emptied the trash. I'm OK with teen fetishes, Barely Legal, and all that, but some of that stuff looked not so legal and he was a bit of a prick anyway. I did not, unfortunately, check to see if the firewall was still enabled. Thank god I'm no longer part of the 9-5 crowd!

P.S. - Watch as the traffic bumps due to searches for child porn. Yippee!

Beautiful Agony

2009-02-23T23:55:00.002-08:00

I am forever in search of really good porn or erotica. It isn't that I dislike watching blonde bimbo's scream obscenities while their fake boobs jiggle, I mean after all who could really dislike that...right. But seriously, it's boring and not really erotic. It's a Big Mac when you could be having fresh crab cakes on the Maryland waterfront.

So when I saw Beautiful Agony I was hooked. To me there is nothing more sexy than a woman having an orgasm and watching only her face while it happens is a sublime thing. These videos never fail to turn me on.

So, although I don't post ads I am posting a link to BeautifulAgony.com. Why? Well, if two of you join I get free access for a month and I am now hooked on watching orgasms. So, we'll see how this goes. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

play windows media

play quicktime

beautifulagony.com

Vibrator fun

2009-02-23T22:52:00.000-08:00

I had no idea that there even were vibrator commercials, let alone that they made up a significant category on YouTube. I should have guessed.

Song of the Week

2009-01-11T14:05:00.000-08:00

It's been a while so I'm putting up two Song of the Week posts this week. I hope you like it. This song and the topics it brings up are not exactly wanking material. Still, medieval sex can be hot as evidenced by this movie. I hope this sates your fantasies and gives you the kink you desire before I dig into darker subjects.

This one could be seen as a bit of a twisted choice. It is Bonny Mae by Solas. Great song, amazing Irish band, very bizarre topic. The song was apparently written by an aide to Mary Queen of Scots, who as it happens, had a rather twisted and sadistic "wooing" imposed on her by Henry VIII which included several pitched battles, followed by a rape and psychological torture at the hands of her next husband and finally execution for treason. Life was not easy for a female heir to the throne in those days.

Bonny Mae is nearly as twisted. It is a sweet and imminently catchy melody that envelopes lyrics describing what can only be described as rape. Further, the story, as might be expected from the views of sex and a females place in society in teh 14th century, is twisted into a grotesque romance in which the woman begins to pine for her abuser who finally returns. In the end it turns out that he is a lord, "With 50 plow and three" who takes her away to a life of lavish luxury by 14th century standards (meaning a life of drudgery and disease made more palatable by having a stone floor rather than a dirt one).

I have heard this song described both as a morality tale used to teach young girls how to behave as well as the equivalent of Danielle Steele or Literotica or BDSM during a time when most people couldn't read. I'm not sure which it is, make your own choice. Either way I dare you to listen and not end up humming the melody all day under your breath.

It also is a reminder that there is a dark side of sex that needs to be hunted out and destroyed. The idea that there are folks out there in our society and in the world who would not bat an eye at the "blame the victim" mentality of this song shows that there is still a long way to go before we are where we need to be in terms of allowing women to be who they want to be without shame or discrimination.

Beck and Call

2009-01-11T13:42:00.001-08:00

So, I've struck up a somewhat interesting conversation with a local couple. They want to meet with me and play if the chemisty is right. It's been a long time since I did something like this but it sounds like fun. I certainly could use the excitement. Still, there are lots of things I forgot about being a play toy for a couple. Perhaps I'm too philosophical for my own good and aught to just languish into existential and relativistic torpor and enjoy it. Unfortunately I've never been able to keep from thinking, much to the chagrin of some and the amazement of others.

The last couple I played with was a blast. The reason was that I became a friend of the family, a friend who spent the night and fucked like a wild man, but a friend nonetheless. We shared stories, beer, and good times as well as sex. This couple seems not to be that way. They simply want the sex. I'm ok with that but it isn't my ideal. I think my core belief about sex implies that there be some connection. I'm not talking full time menage trois, just some basic level of friendship. I think it keeps anyone from feeling used. On the other hand, I can see why couples would only want to let a third person in so far, that a limit has to be set that keeps them comfortable about their relationship. I would be worried if the line wasn't set, I just wish the line was set a bit further into the friend category and a little less into the "fucktoy" category.

Anyway, if I meet with them I'll let you know. I nearly met up with them new years eve but ended up snowed in. Oh, well. Hopefully soon.

Song of the week

2009-01-11T13:31:00.000-08:00

Here's a real sex song for those days when you feel like acting out the discovery channel and going to work with rug burns on your elbows. It's actually a pair of songs. For those uninitiated to Atmosphere they are an underground hip-hop group from Minneapolis, MN. These two songs are from a collaboration with Slug, the MC for Atmosphere, and Murs, another underground rapper. It's a really tight album. They are usually much more cerebral than this but, hey, DJ's have sex too, as we all know, why not rap about it. It's more interesting than your average commercial rapper and less about the "sex, money, and murder" you usually hear. It's much more human, if slightly tilted toward the primal side of the human experience. Teh songs are from the album: Felt: A Tribute to Lisa Bonet. And who didn't fantasize about Lisa Bonet as a young, impressionable teenager watching the Cosby show. She was hot!!!!

Breaker Down Like a Shotgun is a tribute to animalistic sex, i.e.- lyrics such as, "Swingin this dick like a primate."

Woman Tonight shows the softer (if only slightly) side of the sexlife of a hard touring rapper. I like both and think they complement each other. Taken alone Breaker Down Like a Shotgun would seem to be just as crass as any other rap. Taken together I think it shows that there is some humanity behind his lyrics, that he's digging deep into the reptile brain on one hand and then analyzing the reasons for it on the other.

No video today. Apparently this isn't on YouTube. Good luck, happy new year. May it be wet, tasty and juicy as a peach all year long.

Song of Last Week

2008-12-30T13:55:00.001-08:00

Well, here I am. It's been too long. Between the Holidays and a balky internet connection I've been away from my blog duties. I hope you all have decided to hang in there for the ride.

This weeks song hails from Brazil, the land of sex. This one is pretty obscure but I like it. It is a 'brega' by Diogo. With lyrics that translate to, "You did a thousand crazy things with me in the bed" and "You whispered in my ear lies mixed with your moans", this qualifies as a sex song if any ever did. The full lyrics are here if you care to take a look. You can translate them with google translate although the meaning becomes a bit twisted.

In any case, this is a song that always gets me in the mood. It reminds me of slow dancing on hot Brazilian nights with a leggy "gatinha" with a tight body and curvaceous "bunda". The first video is good but poor quality. Nothing like dirty dancing on stage. The second is super cheezy but has lots of pretty girls and better quality. If you are really interested in the song listen to the mp3 in the sidebar.

Men and Cum

2008-12-28T00:32:00.000-08:00

I'm wondering today about why it is that some men don't have a problem with cum and some really do. In fact sometimes it isn't even cum, it's just dick that men have an issue with? The reason why I am wondering is because I have never had this hangup. Perhaps I'm secure enough in my place on the Straight/Queer spectrum to feel comfortable about it. I've read about men not wanting to do DP because "It's too close to another mans junk!", and other things but haven't run across anyone like that in real life. I know that I have friends who won't kiss a girl after she's given head until she's 1) brushed her teeth 2) taken a stiff shot of liquor.

I myself find cum hot. I love looking at a freshly creamed cunt and watching the glistening white cum flow lazily out from within her folds and down over her ass. I've even been known to help clean up the mess. I'm not bothered, and in fact am turned on by, the taste of my cum on a womans lips. I'm not worried about another mans cum or cock touching mine, although I'm not all that turned on by a man directly cumming on me.

This isn't to say it grosses me out. I can envision several kinky ways in which this might end up being a turnon. The actual act might be somewhat neutral, but watching and feeling a woman clean it with her tongue might be altogether more arousing.

So, dear readers, what is your take on another mans cum. Do you enjoy/hate the idea of your cock, or someone else's being near you or tasting it on your partners lips? What about the ladies? Are you ok with men who won't kiss you after head? I'd like to hear from everybody and see what people have to say about why they feel that way. I'm genuinely intrigued.

Song of the Week

2008-12-19T23:47:00.000-08:00

Here is a new addition to the blog, "Song of the Week". One could argue that all songs are about sex in one form or another. I intend to post a song, and video if I can find it, each week that reminds me in some way of sex. It might be a great song to fuck to, it might be a horrible song to fuck to that has an interesting sex story behind it. Maybe the lyrics are suggestive in some way. Either way I promise that the music will open your mind a bit. I don't tend toward really mainstream music so expect the eclectic and you won't be dissapointed. I'll keep a flash playlist on the top of the sidebar and add too it each week so you can have some music to listen to as you read. Just click the arrow at the top of the player to see the whole playlist.

This week: Marcy Playground - Sex and Candy

This song just oozes sex (Even if the video is a bit disturbing and the only reference to sex is the lingerie pulled from the dresser). This line in particular reminds me of college for reasons I'll explain.

I smell sex and candy here
Who's that lounging in my chair
Who's that casting devious stares
In my direction
Mama this surely is a dream

This song brings back the mental image of a party and a particularly slutty coed I was sortof dating. I remember her slouching in a chair and giving me 'fuck me eyes' from across the room. I also remember thinking it was really hot to watch her hitting on other guys, until she actually slept with one and then it was a bit much for my still developing swinger sensibilities. I remember her perfect tits and creamy white skin on my dorm room bed while I was skipping a religion class.

She was fresh out of a Catholic, all girls boarding school and running on a delinquent streak fueled by a poor family dynamic and a couple of sexually twisted ex-boyfriends. She always wore a gold cross around her neck that kept the irony alive and made her just that much hotter. She must have given great head as several people I know are still searching for her long after college.

I was an innocent boy then and didn't take it past lots of naked playing. She wanted my cock inside her and I was just too hesitant. I've always wondered what would have happened if I let her have her way with me. I have no doubt it would have been alot of fun. My GPA would certainly have suffered, but I would have probably spent quite a bit of time fucking her luscious ass.

I remember several conversations on our dorm floor revolving around the merits of different brands of flavored body spreads and what kind of lube was best for what. She only lasted a semester before dropping out and nobody was able to keep in contact. In that time she made her way around the small campus in a big way. A year afterward we drew up a "Spit Tree" (like a 'six degrees of seperation of who has kissed whom) and nearly 100 people were directly connected via her. While others where repulsed I realized it kindof turned me on. My nascent swinger was emerging.

Years later she appeared and spent the night on a friends floor with her BF. True to form the two of them tried to enlist my friend in a threesome. Some things never change.

The crush, continued

2008-12-15T23:32:00.000-08:00

I had another meeting with my crush. Wheee!! I felt like I was walking on air afterwards. So much so in fact that I forgot that due to time I had parked at a 1-hour meter in order to make it on time. 2 hours after the meeting ended my stomach jumped into my chest and I ran to move my car. Luckily the cold kept the parking folks at bay and I was spared a ticket.

It did bring some interesting sex related questions to mind that I'd like your input on. First though, I must tell you all about what happened like a sixth grader whispering to his best friend in the back of band class. If you can't stand the shlocky stuff skip to the end and read the last couple paragraphs. That's what I'd really like input on.

I gave her a little christmas gift on the premise that she is new in town (just moved here a few months ago). I'm not sure if that was the right thing to do but I figured she doesn't have family around here and probably doesn't have a huge number of friends yet. I thought it would be a good gesture. She didn't act weirded out when I gave it to her and seemed genuinely happy for the "welcome" gift which is good. Seeing her smile was the highlight of my day. I hope I haven't overstepped my bounds.

I realize that half the point of having a crush is reading the subtext behind every little happening between you and your crush. It seems silly to do that knowing full well how 'sixth grade' that is but I find myself doing that anyway. I felt like she really wanted to see me today and was really happy to talk. The first time we met it was all business and it was only after we got through our work that we exchanged the 'hi, how are you's' and it turned out we had alot in common in terms of our prior work background. The last time she didn't really smile at me for any reason, it was pretty formal.

This time I came in about 10 minutes late and she was walking down the hallway from the break room when I walked in. She got a big smile on her face and said "hi" from all the way down the hall and she seemed to have a real bounce in her step. As we worked through our business she was much quicker to smile and we sat and talked for a while after we were done, just shooting the breeze. Turns out we have alot in common. She worked in the same industry as I did prior to coming to the her current job. She recently moved across the country for her position just as I did. She is also a native of the state the I called home for 15 years before moving.

I hope my instincts are correct but it may just be puppy love talking. She definitely seems like the kind of girl I'd like to get to know for real. She isn't someone I would want to be just friends with benefits or something. I'm too attracted to her mind to want distance like that.

These sorts of things always lead me to a nagging question. Assuming a relationship were to come out of this how do you deal with exposing your kinks? I've had problems arise before from not being totally upfront about my past sexual experience, still it isn't something I think should just be dumped out there. How do you, dear readers, deal with this? Do you feel that your swinging kinks are something you would give up to be in a relationship with someone who wasn't interested or was skittish of that sort of behavior? How have you broached the subject in the past in a way that made it easy to talk about and not a total shock?

I'll be interested to read your responses.

Meditation on Porn vs. Swinging

2008-12-13T14:41:00.000-08:00

Check out this video from the "Screw My Wife Please!" series, then read on.

Porn is interesting business. It is a turnon but in an oddly otherworldly way. Although I'm sure there are a few people genuinely turned off by porn by-and-large everyone likes to watch other people fuck for some strange biological reason. Still, there is always an air of unreality. You don't really expect to fuck a cum-whore bimbo or a rock hard stallion with a 9 inch cock every time you have sex in the real world. For me it has never even been a goal, yet I enjoy watching it.

Swinging is similar to porn but very different. Why, you ask? Well...I think it is because at it's heart porn is purely fantasy and swinging is not. Swinging is grounded in the real world and real people doing what real people do. Real people don't have porno sex. The lighting is never right, the girls are never motivated by money to stay anorexic and scream somewhat contrived obcenities while faking an orgasm. I actually like that the guys and girls who swing are normal. In many ways the quirks that make us who we are are hotter than what we look like.

Swinging also involves emotions. Not that porn doesn't, it just tends to gloss them over on-screen and deal with them poorly off-screen. That is why this movie caught my eye. It isn't great porn as porn goes, but it's a very interesting glimpse into swinging for the uninitiated.

It isn't good porn but it's excellent swinging. Without intending too to delves a bit into the emotions that can well up for swingers and how you get over that. It also shows how having sex with someone else really isn't about you getting off but about you and your partner getting off. I think it is incredibly sweet how Nadia asks her hubby if he's sure he won't get jealous. You can tell they are both really nervous but also excited. After Dean does get jealous Nadia is obviously genuinely worried for him. She does a good job of involving him in the action when he comes back, letting him touch her and telling him how much she likes having him watch. It really is straight from the swinger textbook about keeping communication open and making sure it isn't about only one person having fun. It is a huge turnon for me to see this reality on screen.

I have to say that despite the old guy who narrates these videos, who is really annoying in a curmudgeonly way, I think this is a really good series. It shows everything I love and hate about swinging without pulling many punches...

For example, this video is a turnoff for me. This couple is the stereotypical jaded swinger couple. They obviously do this alot and like it but I don't want to watch. They've turned it into just another contact sport. There is no mystery or intrigue anymore. They simply fuck like bunnies in the same way some people sit in front of the tube and watch Letterman. They'll live longer than couch potatoes (It's good excercise) but they don't turn me on. I won't deny that she is probably a great lay and she is good looking for her age but without some magic in the air it isn't any fun to watch.

On the other hand this couple turns me on in a serious way. I think the reason is twofold. They are both hot enough to be porn stars which makes this video kindof a hybrid between swinging and porno. On teh other hand there is obviously some emotional tension although they are far more comfortable and adventurous than Nadia and Dean from the first video. The second thing that turns me on is that she is so willing to try new things in front of her man. I love that she lets the guy face fuck her even though it obviously isn't something she's super comfortable with.

This couple is also super hot. I love the way they look at each other while she is getting fucked. Seeing their foreheads touching and the way they look in each others eyes is really hot to me. By the end she looks like she's about ready to be done. The stud can't cum and I think it ruins it for her a bit having to endure his pounding after she's already gotten as close to cumming as it's going to get, but the rest is super hot.

One interesting observation is that of the couples who are new to this the girl never cums. I think most guys would expect that a woman would cum the first time if she liked it. I don't think that is necessarily the case. It takes some time to get comfortable enough with a partner to cum for many women and being in front of a camera with a man you met only minutes before is a recipe for not cumming. Still, most seem to enjoy it (and this has been my personal experience as well). So, lesson #1 for guys is not to assume anything from how she acts in bed the first time. Let her tell you in words what she liked or didn't like and take her at her word. Trust me, it will work out much better that way and keep the communication flowing as fast as her pussy juices.

P.S. - Lest you think I have some latent tattoo fetish from these video's let me assure you that as far as I know consciously this is just a coincidence. They all do have great tats. They are a bit garish but fit their bodies well. I love the detail in Nadia's tat's in the first video, wow! I think her alabaster skin helps but they are really good. She looks like she belongs in a Steam Punk dream, a mix of 1880's ideals of beauty and victorian style tats that say she's not all she seems. Hot!

A crush...Yeah...a crush...it's Perfect!

2008-12-11T22:48:00.000-08:00

I realized today, in the best way possible to realize this, that I haven't had a crush for years. I've had lot's of sex in that time and spent many a night buried inside women I was dating, married to, and even women who's husbands engineered the rondesvous. I've even been in love several times in the intervening years but have not really had a crush, if you can believe that. I'm dizzy with glee right now and I want you all to know about it. So, here I am at my blog.

Life and relationships have made it really hard to want or accept this kind of thing. I'm realizing as I type this that this sounds HIGHLY unhealthy. Without dwelling on that fact I want to tell you all a story about how I came to realize that I had come down with a crush and that it was exactly what I needed after all this time.

In the last few months I've had the time and emotional space to think about me again for a change. I feel free, like I am finally able not only to pursue my dreams, but to do it on my own terms and without having to subsume who I am to do it. I have certainly not pursued love, and really have only halfway pursued sex in these months. Frankly I needed the space.

Then today I came down with my first crush in five years, possibly more depending on how you define it. It came on so quickly that I had trouble finishing the sentence I was speaking. I lost my train of thought and realized that I was deathly afraid I would ramble like an idiot and screw up the perfect future with her I had build in my mind during the half second of my epiphany. This is one sickness I don't mind staying home from school with!

I was in the middle of a one-on-one meeting talking about complex, esoteric, and (to me at least) riveting parts of my work and study. As I was speaking I suddenly realized that her mouth was perfect. That something about the way it moved when she talked was not just beautiful but perfect.

I realized that I had been staring at her mouth and nothing else for the entire meeting and I decided I needed to see things... from a wider perspective. As I talked I widened my gaze and realized that not only was her mouth perfect in some achingly unattainable and ephemeral way but the same was true for her hair, her taste in clothes, her manner of speaking...I could go on for hours. My point was made and my sentence began to ramble and then disappeared into silence as my mind shifted it's focus.

As she answered I began to realize things I had not seen when we first met minutes before. She was so smart, and so damn confident it hurt. She was down to earth and easygoing but not about to be seen as anything but an equal. She was academic and sultry all at once, tall and thin with perfect curves and the intellectual sinuosity to twist your mind in knots. She was not classically beautiful in the way of a supermodel but so confident in her own skin that her confidence radiated from her like an aura. I realized in that instant that she was perfect.

The instant I came to that realization her tone edged up into a question mark and I realized that I needed to answer her. I needed to answer a question that was doubtlessly academically challenging, intellectually subtle, and also a question of which I had heard not one iota.

I had let my guard down for only an instant to go on a mental journey over her body, through our courtship, and into a life together. I suddenly realized that my half second of hope now lay at the crossroads. If I looked like an idiot now my mental house of cards would surely tumble to the ground. I opened my mouth and began haltingly to speak.

Somewhere in the recesses of my brain her words had hit their target. My mind became crystal clear and I was somehow able to answer confidently, truthfully and with the same subtlety and rigor she had displayed.

She nodded her perfect head in agreement, furrowed her perfect brow in thought and turned toward her desk to retrieve a notepad. I watched her perfect body with it's perfect, tight shape and wonderfully rounded butt slowly walk to the desk. I watched her shoulders, covered in a loose white scarf, dip away from perfect posture as her arm reached out to pick up the notebook. I saw how perfectly her plaid skirt fit her curves, sexy while still perfectly sharp and professional. I saw the detail in the rims of her stylish, square glasses and her wonderful green eyes.

I realized that this wasn't lust. I realized this was what I had wanted for years and been unable to find. I realized that even if it never amounted to anything this was something worth hoping for. I realized that like an awkward teenager I had caught a bug that I couldn't shake. I had a crush!

A Poll For the Ladies

2008-12-11T22:28:00.000-08:00

You are writhing in ecstasy as a tongue flicks and sucks your clit. You feel a slight tug as your labia is sucked gently and then the wonderful feeling of a tongue sliding into your wet slit. As you writhe in pleasure it moves down to the patch of skin between your cunt and asshole. You realize suddenly that fingers are gently spreading your ass cheeks and before you can react you feel the warm, wet, sensation of a tongue gently ringing its way around your smooth and clean rosebud while gently probing agianst your tight sphincter.

Sexy Mens Undies

2008-12-11T21:28:00.000-08:00

I just bought a new cohort of underwear. I'm not usually one to care much for my underwear but I have to admit I got into it this time. I found some really nice underwear at a local discount shop and after wearing one pair I decided to go back and get more. They are SUPER comfortable and pretty darn sexy.

What type of undies do you all like your man to wear? Maybe I should rephrase the question. What type of underwear do you ladies like to peel off your man? Guys, what kind of underwear do you like to wear every day? Do you have special undies you wear when you think you are going to need to show them off or is that too metrosexual for your tastes?

I have always selected my best (least worn-out) undies when I thought there was a chance of getting lucky. I've never bought undies specifically to wow my lady friends though.

I have always worn boxers with crazy/funny/ironic patterns. I learned to like bikini briefs while in Latin America although things tend to spill out when you get an accidental hardon. I like boxer briefs alot as well.

My current purchase includes a new favorite, the seamless boxer brief. They are form fitting, elastic, made of wicking polyester for exercise and comfort, and look hot. I got PUMA "Naughty Bodywear" ones. The others are 2(X)ist brand bikini briefs. I missed out on the C-IN2 brand boxer briefs with the "Trophy Shelf" pouch. I wanted those just for the hilarious name (but they did look darn comfy). They didn't have them in my size.

So, lets hear from all you dear readers. What kinds of male undies do you like?

Which of these Undies do you like best? Feel Free to add your own favorites. Aim for this to be the web's premier collection of tastefully hot underwear! ( surveys)

Mrs. Adam's! You swing? I never would have guessed!

2008-12-10T19:36:00.000-08:00

From My Old Blog at Adult Friend Finder

Here I am again. Sorry for the delay. Life gets in the way.

Who out there lives in a rural area and swings? It's hard. I used to live in a big city and even then I would run into people I knew outside of swinging on Adult FriendFinder. It's always a bit awkward when someone from work or a friend of a friend messages you, especially if you've always secretly thought they were hot. Do you email back and let them know who you are, or do you refrain from replying to keep the cat from getting out of the bag?

Who out there has had this problem?

In a small town area like where I am from there is always the fear that your second grade teacher will be the one who turns out to be a swinger. Also, people are afraid to show face pics online in small towns so you might find out who they really are for the first time when you meet in person.

Personally I always figure why not go for it. Both of you (Or all of you if there are couples involved) are here for sex. Who cares how you know them, if you both are on Adult FriendFinder you must be looking for the same thing.

Cue Marvin Gay....Ooooohhh....Lets get it on!

Who knows, maybe that librarian you always thought was cute in highschool is a great lay. She might even wear her glasses for you if you ask nicely.

So, dear readers, tell me your funniest/scariest story about meeting someone you knew outside of swinging on Adult FriendFinder. Did you end up in bed or did it not work out? Did you think they were "that type of person" before you met them online?

Can't wait to hear your stories and your replies to the poll!

If you were contacted by someone you knew outside of AFF, CL, or other site (i.e. - teacher, friend, acquaintance) would you reply to them and hook up? ( polls)

Being a slut is hard work

2008-12-10T14:47:00.000-08:00

Hello out there.

I've kept up blogs in the past but have never ventured into the wilds of sex blogging in a way that really worked for me. That isn't to say I'm not a reader. I used to love “A Cum Whores Diary” (RIP) and currently am a big fan of “Anal Amy” and “Stick & Giggle” although both are far from being regularly updated. Unfortunately I may not have the time for another full time blog, which gets to the heart of the problem with sex blogs. The disappear faster than lemonade in July.

People quite blogging because being a full time whore is hard work. Even if you are a super hot lady with a great ass and great oral skills it takes work to keep up with the jones' when it comes to being a total slut. I know, I've tried it.

For a time I was a serious manslut. I had a regular fuck buddy who gave great head, loved long fuck sessions, and took my cock up her ass whenever I pushed it against her tight little hole. At the same time I was actively seeking threesomes with couples. I kept up as a steady boy toy for a great couple I met on here and spent many a night drinking great beer followed by steamy fuckathons as the wife took both our thick cocks before drinking our cum.

I taught three girls how to love anal sex for the first time. I fucked a lady who wanted nothing more than for me to come to her house and abuse her before dumping my loads in her unprotected holes. This was when I realized I am not a dom. Still, she had fun laying with her head off the edge of the bed so I could fuck her throat and slap her clit at the same time. I even fucked a wonderfully shy elementary school teacher, with the greatest ass I have ever had the pleasure to see in the flesh, while her husband took pictures.

But it is very hard work to keep that up and also have a life. It can also fuck with your head if you aren't careful. So, I gave it up for quite a while. Still, the urge seems to build for me and I can tell that I need to get a bit slutty here in the near future and let off some steam. Maybe having a blog on here (AFF) will help. I know I have met great people on here before. We'll see what happens.

Hello There

2008-12-10T14:30:00.000-08:00

Welcome to my new blog. I've always enjoyed blogging and have tried my hand a several erotic blogs in the past that didn't quite work out. They ranged from erotic to downright pornographic and from pictures to literature. None of them worked.

I've been blogging on Adult Friend Finder, a site where I have in the past met some very fun people in the past. I seem to have come up with some posts that I think are interesting enough and varied enough to build a blog I can stay interested in. We'll see if the same holds true for you.

I'l copy over my posts from there since I'm tired of the limited exposure and extremely poor interface. From there I'll keep to a post a week or so on topics involving sex, love or perversion that I particularly think are interesting.

I'm very open minded. If this offends you you don't have to read it, nor do I have to respond to your comments (or post them for that matter). This blog will be a haven of tolerance for those of us who hold views on sex that differ from the majority of the population.

If you are offended by the idea of multiple partners, sex out of wedlock, homosexuality, wild kinks, fantasy fulfillment, cheating, cuckoldry, submission, or any activity up to and including missionary-position-sexual-intercourse-through-a-hole-in-a-sheet-with-the-lights-off-strictly-for-procreation-and-without-kissing-touching-orgasms-or-lube-for-your-poor-terrified-wife then please do us all a favor and refrain from visiting or commenting.

It goes without saying that if you are under 18 you probably should browse elsewhere.